docBODY LANGUAGE – some gestures/facial expressions
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BODY LANGUAGE – some gestures/facial expressions
BODY LANGUAGE – some gestures/facial expressions and what they may mean PALM GESTURES open palms palm facing up in handshake palm facing down in handshake pointed finger + fist glove hand shake finger-tip grab stiff-arm thrust rubbing palms HAND AND ARM GESTURES hands clenched together steepling hands steeple + head tilted backwards gripping hands, arms, wrists behind back the further the hand is moved up thumbs protruding from pockets arms folded + thumbs pointing upwards thumb pointing at another person HAND-TO-FACE GESTURES hand covering the mouth (mouth-guard) nose touch (=version of mouth guard) eye rub ear rub neck scratch collar pull finger in the mouth hand supporting head drumming fingers, tapping feet hand on cheek, not support for head index finger pointing up the cheek and thumb supporting chin chin-stroking taking off glasses and putting one arm of the frame in one´s mouth putting pipe in one´s mouth collar pull ARM BARRIERS arms crossed fists arms crossed fully (+clenched teeth + red face) gripping arms holding hands with oneself partial arm barrier touching shirt cuff, handbag, bracelet LEG BARRIERS crossed legs crossed arms and crossed legs figure 4 leg lock position figure 4 leg clamp honesty submission (giving control) domination (taking control) aggression gives impression that one is trustworthy lack of confidence aggression; is to keep you at a distance „Let´s see what you have to offer!“ frustrated or hostile attitude managers instructing subordinates smugness, arrogance frustration, attempt at self-control the angrier the person has become dominance, aggression defensive or negative attitude, superiority ridicule or disrespect person is telling a lie means the same deceit, doubt, lie person has heard enough, wants to speak doubt, uncertainty lie, anger, frustration need for assurance boredom impatience genuine interest negative or critical attitude listener is making decision means the same means the same lie, frustration, anger negative or defensive attitude hostile attitude very hostile attitude negative restrained attitude strangers, lack of self confidence, fear fear nervousness negative or defensive attitude person has withdrawn from conversation competitive, argumentative position stubbornness legs crossed while standing + folded arms person is not relaxed or confident, particularly among strangers, nervous, shy open body open attitude ankles locked negative or defensive attitude foot lock (standing or seated) common in shy or timid women OTHER POPULAR GESTURES AND ACTION straddling the chair dominance picking imaginary lint disapproval of somebody´s opinion or attitude head tilting to one side interest head down disapproval both hands behind head „I´m smarter than you!“ hands on hips aggressive, dominant male attitude seated readiness ready to proceed hands on knees ready to end a conversation leaning forward, hands gripping chair means the same thumbs tucked into belt sexual aggression two males: hands on hips, thumbs in belts strained atmosphere EYE SIGNALS gazing at the other person´s eyes or creates a serious atmosphere, shows you forehead mean business and keep control gazing at a triangle between eyes and creates a social atmosphere mouth gazing from eyes downwards below chin creates an intimate atmosphere and to other parts of the body sideways glance either interest or hostility eyes closed for a whole second you may have caused a negative reaction SMOKING CIGARETTES; GESTURES WITH GLASSES smoke blown down negative, secretive, suspicious putting cigarette out too early person wants to end the conversation Cigarette smoke blown upwards Person feels confident, superior, positive taking glasses off, cleaning lenses decision-making sign looking over glasses creates negative attitude in listener BODY LOWERING going up to somebody, body stooped, wish to calm an angry person palms visible IMITATION copying the other person´s gestures wish to gain acceptance imitation of both hands behind head “I´m as smart as you are!” POINTERS Crossing the knees towards a person Acceptance, interest Bodies forming an angle of 90 degrees Ordinary social intercourse Bodies “facing” each other Privacy or intimacy Body averted from person Person is not accepted Body not pointed towards third person Means the same Seated open triangular position Boss creates relaxed atmosphere Seated direct body point with a Boss wants to get a direct answer subordinate Seated right angle position Reduces non-verbal pressure DESKS; TABLES AND SEATING ARRANGEMENTS Corner position Friendly, casual conversation Two people sitting opposite each other Competitive-defensive position Letting person enter one´s territory Non-verbal acceptance Two people sitting at opposite corners They don´t wish to interact (e.g. library) Two people sitting at the same side of desk Cooperative position TERRITIORIES AND ZONES 15-45 cm between two persons Intimate zone 46-120 cm Personal zone 120-360 cm Social zone Over 360 cm Public zone MALE COURTSHIP GESTURES straightening tie, smoothing collar or brush off imaginary dust, rearrange cufflinks etc., thumbs in belt, intimate gaze, turning body towards woman, pupils dilated. FEMALE COURTSHIP GESTURES touching hair, one or both hands on hips, intimate gaze, increasing eye contact, thumbs in belt, pupil dilation, flushed cheeks, flicking head and toss back hair, exposed wrists and palms, legs opened wider than normally, looking at man and – once he is looking – looking away, mouth slightly open, wet lips, lipstick, sideways glance over raised shoulder, thrusting foot in and out of shoe, leg twine and one firmly pressed against the other, and many more! WHAT ELSE YOU SHOULD KNOW Don´t make the mistake to interpret a solitary gesture without taking note of other gestures or other circumstances. For example, scratching the head can mean a number of things: dandruff, fleas, sweating, uncertainty, forgetfulness, or lying - so we must always look at gesture CLUSTERS! A common critical attitude cluster would be: hand-to-face gesture with the index finger pointing up the cheek while another finger covers the mouth and the thumb supports the chin. In addition, the legs are crossed and one arm crosses the body while the head and chin are down. All of this means, “I don´t like what you are saying and I disagree with you.” So if the person says that he is enjoying what you are saying, his non-verbal signs would be incongruent. The point of understanding body language is to avoid making mistakes in social encounters. If, for example you are a salesman and about to sell your products to a potential buyer, and you see that the buyer is stroking his chin you must know that he is just making the decision whether to buy or not. You would be foolish to speak or to interrupt now that he has been asked to make a decision to purchase. If you see the chin-stroking gesture followed by crossed legs and arms you would be wise to change your strategy before the buyer verbalises his negative answer, because if he does, this may be a point of no return because many people do not like to change their minds once they have verbalised their thoughts. In a negotiation, when one person has decided to terminate the negotiation he will turn his body or swing his feet to point towards the nearest exit. If you see these signals you should do something to get the person involved and interested or else terminate the conversation on your terms, which allows you keep control. Or if you can´t recognise any courtship signals in the woman who you are making advances to, your whole attempt will turn out to be a failure, so spare yourself the frustration. Vocabulary: palm honesty submission domination fist point to trustworthy lack confidence clenched subordinate tilt smugness grip attempt wrist thumb protude attitude superiority ridicule disrespect cover lie deceit doubt rub scratch uncertainty collar anger assurance support boredom tap impatience genuine index finger cheek chin stroke decision frame hostile fear stranger partial touch cuff bracelet withdraw competitive stubborn ankle timid shy imaginery disapproval opinion hip male proceed lean belt strained gaze forehead Handinnenfläche Ehrlichkeit Unterwerfung dominierendes Verhalten Faust zeigen auf vertrauenswürdig Mangel Vertrauen zusammengepresst Untergebener neigen arrogance packen Versuch Handgelenk Daumen herausragen Haltung Überlegenheit Spott Respektlosigkeit bedecken Lüge Täuschung Zweifel reiben kratzen Unsicherheit Kragen Zorn confidence stützen Langeweile klopfen Ungeduld echt Zeigefinger Wange Kinn streicheln Entscheidung Rahmen, Fassung feindlich Angst Fremder teilweise berühren Manschette Armband sich zurückziehen Konkurrenz... hartnäckig, stur Knöchel ängstlich scheu erfunden, imaginär Ablehnung Meinung Hüfte männlich weitermachen lehnen Gürtel not relaxed look Stirn mean business triangle create intimate glance secretive suspicious lens sign lower stoop visible calm imitation copy gain acceptance angle ordinary intercourse face privacy intimacy avert pressure casual straighten tie smooth brush off dust cufflinks pupil dilated flush flick toss exposed once raised thrust twine firm solitary circumstances dandruff fleas sweat cluster disagree incongruent avoid encounter foolish interrupt purchase wise verbalise change one´s mind negotiation terminate on your terms recognise courtship make advances failure es ernst meinen Dreieck erzeugen intim short look geheimnisvoll misstrauisch Linse Zeichen sich kleiner machen lower sichtbar beruhigen Nachahmung imitate erreichen, gewinnen Anerkennung Winkel gewöhnlich(!) Umgang mit Menschen look at Privatsphäre Intimität wegdrehen Druck lässig gerade machen Krawatte glätten abbürsten Staub Manschettenknöpfe Pupille erweitert erröten schnell drehen throw entblößt sobald angehoben push cross fest einzeln Umstände Haarschuppen Flöhe schwitzen Gruppe, Häufung nicht zustimmen unlogisch, nicht passend vermeiden Begegnung blöd unterbrechen buy klug aussprechen es sich anders überlegen Verhandlung end, finish zu deinen Bedingungen notice das Werben um jemanden court flop
