Danish parents` ideals and praxis for life with children

Transcrição

DET SAMFUNDSVIDENSKABELIGE FAKULTET
KØBENHAVNS UNIVERSITET
Danish parents’ ideals and praxis for life with
children
Priscilla Sant’ Anna Gravesen
Nr. 226/2007
Projekt- & Karrierevejledningen
Projekt- & Karrierevejledningens Rapportserie
Nr. 226/2007
Danish parents’ ideals and praxis for life with children
Priscilla Sant’ Anna Gravesen
ISSN: 1339-5367
ISBN: 9788791536649
Se øvrige udgivelser i rapportserien og foretag bestillinger direkte på Projekt- &
Karrierevejledningens hjemmeside.
Projekt- & Karrierevejledningen
Det Samfundsvidenskabelige Fakultet
Københavns Universitet
Center for Sundhed og Samfund
Øster Farimagsgade 5
1014 København K
35 32 30 99
www.samf.ku.dk/pkv
[email protected]
Danish parents’ ideals and praxis
for life with children
Speciale i Psykologi
Speciale i Psykologi
Danish parents’ ideals and praxis
for life with children
Udarbejdet af Priscilla Sant’Anna Gravesen
Vejleder Pernille Hviid, MA Ph.D
Institut for Psykologi
Københavns Universitet
August 2007
Antal anslag 132.334, svarende til 55,1 normalsider
Table of contents
Preface ..................................................................................................................... 4
1
Abstract ......................................................................................................... 7
2
Structure ........................................................................................................ 9
3
Introduction ................................................................................................. 11
4
Problem definition ....................................................................................... 14
5
Methodology and methodological limitations ............................................... 15
6
Theories chosen ........................................................................................... 18
6.1
Valsiner: The theory of human development ............................................ 18
6.2
Hundeide: The theory of child development ............................................. 19
6.3
The selected theories and this thesis ......................................................... 20
7
Definitions ................................................................................................... 22
8
The family ................................................................................................... 23
8.1
8.1.1
8.2
Historical development of the family in Europe ........................................ 23
Contextual development of the family in Europe ................................ 23
The development of family in Denmark 1950-2000 .................................. 26
8.2.1
Social context .................................................................................... 26
8.2.2
The family ......................................................................................... 27
8.3
Family types in the present time ............................................................... 29
8.4
Families in this thesis .............................................................................. 30
8.5
The current nuclear family ....................................................................... 31
8.5.1
Important general characteristics of the current nuclear family ........... 32
8.5.2
Upbringing......................................................................................... 38
8.5.3
What does this mean for the family? .................................................. 40
8.5.4
Discussion ......................................................................................... 44
9
Norms and ideals from a socio-cultural perspective ...................................... 46
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9.1
Theoretical approaches to norm creation .................................................. 46
9.1.1
Moralistic Advice .............................................................................. 46
9.1.2
Expert & Expertise............................................................................. 47
9.1.3
Appropriation .................................................................................... 48
9.1.4
Constraints ......................................................................................... 48
9.2
Participation in cultural communities ....................................................... 51
9.3
Discussion ................................................................................................ 51
10
Empirical Studies ......................................................................................... 53
10.1
Overview of empirical studies .................................................................. 53
10.2
Description and analysis of empirical studies ........................................... 54
10.2.1
Sources of influence on parental beliefs ............................................. 54
10.2.2
Ideals for life with children ................................................................ 60
10.2.3
Praxis in life with children ................................................................. 66
11
Final Discussion ........................................................................................... 72
12
Conclusion ................................................................................................... 78
13
Final remarks ............................................................................................... 80
14
Bibliography ................................................................................................ 82
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PREFACE
Child development, child upbringing or issues related to children was not really a
subject of interest to me until I became a parent. Becoming a parent has been the
most challenging and exciting task I have ever had, which has made me think, rethink and change my beliefs and praxis a number of times.
In the moment that a person becomes a parent a lot of issues regarding ones own
upbringing, family and family’s values come back. It may be natural that we want
to repeat the good things we have been through and improve or change some
things that we perceived as less positive. However, times have changed, we have
changed and even some of the good things we have had in our own upbringing do
not fit the reality today.
When my time as a parent arrived, I felt the pressure of all these issues as well as
one more factor which made me confused and frustrated in the beginning. I got
caught between at least two cultures and their ways of understanding and
supporting child development. Being born in Brazil, raised by a Polish mother and
a father who was the second generation of a very conservative Italian family born
in Brazil, I experienced sometimes differences about the way things were done at
our home and in other people’s homes.
I continued the old and known pattern of my family – blending cultures. I got
married to a Dane and made my own mixed-culture family.
It is certainly a very complex and rich possibility for a person to get exposed to so
much diversity one can find in different cultures. However, it can be a painful,
challenging and demanding process to settle in and “feel at home”. I believe that
the result can only be positive, if one can stop searching for an absolute truth
regarding certain issues and accept that there is not necessarily a right or wrong,
there is different. Things are different and there is normally a very reasonable
explanation for these differences.
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I have finally reached this point and I can by now say that I am grateful to see a
new set of possibilities that has opened its doors in front me.
Delivering this thesis represents for me the realisation of a dream that started
almost 14 years ago. At that point, I was living in Brazil and had started my
education in psychology with a plan to start working in the field as soon as
possible.
In year 2000, I got my title as a psychologist almost at the same time as I decided
to move to Denmark to live together with my boyfriend. After a few years in
Denmark (and a diploma in marketing economy) I decided to get my psychology
degree transferred from Brazil and completed to Danish standards at the
University of Copenhagen.
Writing this thesis has been a very challenging, frustrating and learning process.
As I heard my supervisor saying when I started the writing process “education is
also culturally determined”. I do agree.
It is the first time I have written a longer project in Denmark and it was not easy
for me all the time to understand what was expected of me.
The two educational systems I have been in connection with while studying to
become a psychologist, have different emphasis and requirements to its students.
In Denmark, I got scared many times when thinking about the freedom to choose,
think and write that I got here. Many times, I doubted if I was able to make
productive use of it. I was uncertain of how far I could go and how much I should
discuss and conclude.
By now, I can say that liberty feels good, but it takes some time and effort to learn
how to use it…
I am very happy that this thesis turned out to be possible.
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Finally, I would like to thank some of the persons that have helped me to make
this project possible.
Thanks to my supervisor Pernille for all the patience and comprehension during
this process.
Thanks to my husband Niels for all his support and for not “allowing” me to give
up.
Priscilla Sant’Anna Gravesen
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1 ABSTRACT
This project is concerned with the conditions for families with children in
Denmark, specifically the ideals and the praxis in modern family life.
In résumé the project investigates if practical life reflects the ideals parents have,
possible reasons for discrepancies and potential solutions to reconcile ideals and
praxis. The theoretical background for this thesis is the cultural perspectives of
Valsiner and Hundeide.
With basis in a historical overview of the development of the family and a theory
based description of mechanisms that creates norms and ideals, the project
analyses a number of empirical studies. The selected studies include both Danish
and foreign researches in order to make relevant comparisons to judge the
cultural, socio-economic and other factors. Empirical studies cover the three subquestions of the thesis: sources of influence on parental beliefs, ideals and praxis
for life with children.
Based on the empirical studies culture and socio-economics are identified as the
two main factors influencing parental beliefs.
There is a discrepancy between ideals and practical life with children in Denmark,
especially with regard to time related issues. Possible reasons for this are
identified as structural limitations in the society or a lack of actual prioritisation
by the parents. Solutions to minimise structural limitations in the society and
improve quality of life for families with small children is a long term possibility.
In the short run it would be helpful for parents to small children to prioritise their
lives more consciously and accept that life in praxis has some limitations. If
parents really want to increase time with their children they must give less priority
to other life spheres, at least temporarily.
Danish parents consistently mention that they lack time to be with their children.
At the same time our culture seems to have developed segregation between
parents and children when it comes to practical tasks in the family. Parents’
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options are to play with their children or to perform services for the family. In less
industrialised societies parents and children spend much more time together and
share either the activity or just the location while they perform different activities.
Since a good part of the available time at home is taken up by service tasks, there
is a potential for increasing family time by including children in these activities.
This may take more time but may also develop certain skills in the children during
this time. This is an option for parents to spend more time with their children
when time in the modern family is perceived as scarce.
The modern family faces a number of challenges, not at least on how best to
spend time. There may not be any easy solutions but it is worth to take the time to
make conscious choices and prioritisations to make the best of life with children.
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2 STRUCTURE
The chapters contained in this thesis will be presented below:
An abstract presenting the background, aims, methodology, results and the
conclusion of this thesis is provided in Chapter 1.
Chapter 2 presents the structure of this thesis.
Chapter 3 contains an introduction to the subject of study. My reasons for
choosing this subject and the reflections I have been through before I was able to
formalize a concrete problem statement.
The problem statement is presented in chapter 4. The problem statement of this
thesis contains one general and three sub-questions, which I intend to answer in
the end of the thesis (in the discussion).
The methodology and methodological limitations are presented in the chapter 5.
This chapter provides some considerations I have been through when trying to
choose “the best way” to gather enough data to answer the problem statement.
Chapter 6 presents the two main theories (Valsiner, 2000, and Hundeide, 2004)
used in this thesis. These theories were chosen due to their cultural angle and have
been used as basis for my view of the subject throughout this thesis.
Some of the concepts used throughout this thesis are defined in chapter 7 in order
to ensure a common understanding of the wording used.
In chapter 8, a historical overview of the development of the family in Europe is
provided. In addition, a more detailed overview of the development of the family
in Denmark is presented. The family types in our current time are presented
briefly and the focus is on nuclear families. The most important characteristics
concerning this group are highlighted and a discussion about the state of this type
of family in the present time is presented.
Chapter 9 introduces some theoretical mechanisms which explain how individuals
are influenced by external factors. These theoretical approaches are used to
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explain how norms are created, spread and modified both at the individual level as
well as the societal level.
Several empirical researches are presented and discussed in chapter 10. This data
is used as background information in posterior discussion.
Chapter 11 presents an analysis of the empirical literature used and its
implications for the subject of the study.
The most important findings obtained throughout this thesis are summarised and
concluded in the chapter 12.
Chapter 13 presents some of the obstacles regarding this thesis and suggests some
ideas of areas that could have an interest in this thesis.
Chapter 14 contains the bibliographical reference of the literature used for this
project.
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3 INTRODUCTION
The media in Denmark often brings attention to the difficulties that families with
small children have in our society. Political debates often bring discussions about
the contradiction of parents with small children having to work more while they
have small children due to high expenses in this period of life. Other common
subjects are too long days in institutions, high stress level in families with
children, lack of time, etc.
My interest in this subject probably began due to frequent discussions with other
mothers about the challenges of having a well functioning occupational and
family life.
A topic that often came up while discussing with Danish mothers was a feeling of
bad conscience that many of them expressed about their family life and sometimes
also their occupational life. The problem consisted in both cases in not being there
“enough time”, not fulfilling what these mothers believed they were meant to do.
Even though my discussions mainly involved mothers, I often got to know
through these mothers that their partners also experienced such feelings.
I was born and brought up in Brazil and moved to Denmark seven years ago. My
social network includes also some different nationalities other than Danes due to
attending language school and a two-year education in Denmark for international
students. Due to constant contact to foreigners, I was able to observe that the
subject of bad conscience was much less present when we discussed about work
and family life.
I began to get interested in why the feeling of bad conscience was widely
experienced by Danish mothers and apparently not so much by mothers from
some other cultures, who also had a busy life with work and family. I thought that
if different cultures result in different views or abilities to deal with the challenges
of family life, then it would be interesting to discover if elements from other
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cultures could help Danish mothers to deal with their feeling of bad conscience
and improve the quality of life for themselves and their families.
In my understanding, the reason for this feeling of bad conscience arises from a
discrepancy between intention and reality. This seems to be the case even when
there is just a slight discrepancy between the intended and the actual behaviour.
For some reason anything “less than perfect” is considered “unacceptable”.
It seems to me that many parents in Denmark experience this frustration of not
living up to their own intentions. This made me think about possible explanations
to this phenomenon:
•
Maybe Danish parents’ requirements for “an ideal family life with
children” are much higher than in some other cultures and for this reason it
becomes more difficult for these parents to live up to their intentions.
•
Maybe Danish parents do not set realistic goals for life with children and
for this reason these cannot be reached in praxis. Parents may not be aware
of this problem.
•
Maybe parents are aware of this problem but for some other reasons, e.g.
political correctness or pressure from the society, they persist in trying to
reach “unreachable goals”.
•
Maybe there are external factors that limit the possibilities parents have to
live up to their intentions.
I find it quite interesting to understand why people often find themselves in this
situation and therefore the above ideas have become the inspiration for my
problem statement.
I have chosen to include other cultures apart from the Danish in order to make
comparisons and to search for differences. These differences could lead me to
understand some of the apparent differences in views on family life in different
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cultures. The inclusion of others cultures in this thesis also assists to broaden my
general knowledge of the subject of ideals and praxis in families with children.
My intention with this thesis is neither to point to failures by Danish parents nor
to find the “best societies” for parenting children. Nor is it my intention to make a
deep cross-cultural research or an in depth study of some specific societies.
My intention is to understand the ideals and the praxis for life with children in
Denmark having a general background knowledge from other cultures.
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4 PROBLEM DEFINITION
The problem statement for this thesis is “Danish parents’ ideals and praxis for life
with children”.
My aim with this thesis is to investigate which ideals Danish parents have for life
with children and if their praxis reflects their ideals. This will be answered
through the following sub-questions:
•
How are ideals formed?
•
What are the ideals Danish parents have for life with children?
•
How is life with children in praxis?
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5 METHODOLOGY AND METHODOLOGICAL
LIMITATIONS
As the subject for this thesis, I chose a topic which I considered very interesting.
By choosing a subject of study, which I am personally interested in, I felt
privileged to be able to spend time and effort working on this thesis.
Through “Videnskabsbutikken” I got in contact with KVINFO (Centre for
Information on Women and Gender) which found the subject for my study
interesting and agreed to co-operate with me. Their support included helping me
in the search for relevant theoretical and empirical literature, as well as assisting
me to obtain statistical data concerning the subject.
In co-operation with my supervisor, I discussed the possible theoretical
approaches that could be used as the basis for my work. Thanks to her
suggestions, I found two very inspiring theoretical works, which I have used as
background knowledge for reading and analysing all the posterior literature.
Through KVINFO I got access to many articles, textbooks and empirical studies
that were in some way related to the subject of “ideals” and “praxis” in families. I
have also used other channels such as libraries, internet and the bibliographical
references of relevant literature in order to find relevant literature and obtain more
data.
Even though all the literature I read was interesting from an academic point of
view, not all of it was directly relevant for my subject of study. Therefore I was
forced to disregard much of the literature I read.
I read, summarized and compared the relevant empirical literature I got. I had in
the background the cultural understanding provided by the theoretical work I read
previously.
To my surprise I realised how much socio-economics factors played a role for my
subject of study. Therefore I decided not to neglect this finding and include
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general socio-economics in my analysis. This means that even though I had
initially only considered using a cultural perspective I ended up looking at the
data from both cultural and socio-economic angles.
Despite my dedication to this thesis, I can see a number of limitations within its
methodology. The limitations are mainly related to the empirical part of this
thesis. Below each of the limitations is presented:
•
The number of empirical studies on the subject of ideals and praxis for life
with children in Denmark is very limited. This means that my conclusions
are based on few studies. This adds to the uncertainty of the empirical
data. This could have been reduced if a broader range of studies were
available.
•
I have many times considered doing my own empirical research with a few
interviews. However, I would not be able to make a quantitative research
due to the amount of data and interviewees needed for such an analysis.
For this reason, my few cases could only be used qualitatively. I could
then argue that if two, three or maybe five couples expressed similarities
regarding their ideals and their praxis then these similarities might be
found generally in other Danish families (as suggested by Haug, 1987; in
Willig, 2004, pg. 17). However, I would have to accept that my results
were not quantitative in any way and would therefore not reduce the
uncertainty in my conclusions.
•
Including foreign studies increases the number of relevant studies.
However, since they are not conducted on Danish families, they do not
necessarily apply to the Danish society, even when we believe that the
other society is very similar to ours.
It adds to the uncertainty when using the results from foreign studies in the
analysis of Danish families.
The best option to obtain information in different societies for comparison
would probably require the application of an identical study across
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cultures ensuring that the participants understood the concepts (wording
and meaning) in the same way and that the investigators analysed the
results from the same premises.
•
As mentioned before, this thesis includes a limited number of researches.
With a broader number it would be possible to see if certain characteristics
of a culture appear frequently. In this way, I would have felt more
comfortable generalising the findings.
The issue then would be to know if similar characteristics of a culture
appear frequently in many researches because the study does reflect the
culture or if it is because the professionals responsible for designing the
different researches are influenced by a certain academic environment.
Such an environment could reflect a certain culture or political agenda.
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6 THEORIES CHOSEN
This chapter starts with a brief introduction to the two theories chosen as the
theoretical framework for this thesis and explains the way the theories are being
used throughout this project.
This thesis has a psychological socio-cultural perspective based on the theoretical
work of Valsiner (2000) and Hundeide (2004). Both Valsiner’s and Hundeide’s
work have a basis in the interaction of the individual and the society. However,
Valsiner’s work comprehends human development through the entire life span
while Hundeide’s work comprehends primarily child development.
6.1
Valsiner: The theory of human development
Valsiner’s work (2000) is based on a comparison of the milestones in life that
persons go through in different societies. His work shows that the meaning and
the praxis at the same milestone can vary a lot from one society to another.
His work relies on the fact that human psychological development is culturally
guided and personally constructed. According to his theory, contexts and persons
are culturally constituted and interdependent. This means that on one hand, as
soon as a person begins to exist, he/she exists in a given context. On the other
hand, the context the person exists in only exists because persons have
constructed it.
This understanding is important when looking at human development in different
societies. Individuals in different contexts will have different basis for their
development and for this reason the actions required to achieve a certain goal will
also be different. What are goals for development in a given society are not
necessarily the same in another society.
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6.2
Hundeide: The theory of child development
Hundeide’s work (2004) compares child development in different societies taking
into consideration the history that lies behind the context of the society.
According to Hundeide, it is important to understand that we do many things in a
certain way because it has been historically done in that way; things that we do
not argue about but accept as being the natural way of doing something.
Hundeide’s work primary deals with child development. His theory in
contraposition to many other development theories does not have one general
universal characteristic for child development as a starting point. Hundeide does
not believe in general phases of development as for example Piaget did. The
development of the child according to Hundeide can only be analysed taking into
consideration the child’s context.
His theory belongs to a group of contemporary cultural-psychological theories
that have as the starting point the belief that “the child from the beginning is a
social being, that the child from nature is an apprentice that is biologically
disposed to assimilate culture through dialog with important persons in his/her
surroundings” (Hundeide, 2004, p. 8). This view assumes the importance of
sensitive care and supervision of the child to ensure its development in a given
society.
According to Hundeide, the child is born in a social world that has already been
formed through historical and cultural processes. The norms and the models that
will guide the development of this child have already been constructed based on
historical and cultural processes.
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6.3
The selected theories and this thesis
Through this thesis, I will be dealing with issues that are directly influenced by
culture. Therefore these two theories, which have a cultural perspective, are very
relevant to consider further.
I will be dealing with parents’ ideals, expectations, and understandings of what
their children need to receive from them. Parents may have an idea of what their
children need in order to achieve the objectives that the parents consider
important. Likely these important objectives to be achieved are based on norms
and therefore can be found to a certain degree in many families in our society
(Denmark) because they are influenced by culture.
There may be still a lot of variation between families in Denmark what will
influence significantly the expectations these families have to their children.
However, certain expectations will be defined through the culture, which means
that some norms might be common in most families just because they live in the
same society.
For a better understanding of how both Valsiner’s and Hundeide’s theories have
been used through this thesis, I intend to show some of the considerations I have
been through when thinking for example what parents’ ideals for their children
are.
The ideals parents have regarding a certain subject can be influenced by the
context (society), in which these parents live. This means that what a person A in
one society might have as the ideal for his children regarding their development,
their achievements and their future can be very different from the ideals of a
person B in another society. The person A, born in a village in Africa, can have an
ideal for his children that the most important thing in life is to grow up (survive)
and to be able to work in the agriculture. For this reason, being physically strong
might be a very relevant goal for the development for these children.
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“Being physically strong and being able to work in the agriculture” might not be a
very useful goal for child development for Danish parents in the present time.
Consequently what individuals need to do to achieve the relevant goals in these
two societies is also different.
According to Hundeide (2004), if these differences are not taken into account it
will be difficult to analyse objectively what the child should have achieved at a
certain age in a given society.
I expect therefore that the knowledge acquired by reading the work of Valsiner
(2000) and Hundeide (2004) will enable me to analyse the thesis’ findings taking
into consideration the interaction between persons and societies. As both Valsiner
and Hundeide have done through their work.
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7 DEFINITIONS
Below is a definition of some terms and concepts used in this thesis.
Current nuclear family – Parents that live together (being married or not) and
have all their children together, i.e. the couple does not have children from
previous relationships.
Ideals – The conception of something in its perfection (Webster’s Dictionary,
1989), in this context the ultimate aim for family life, which may not be
realistic or reachable from a practical perspective.
Goal – The result toward which effort is directed (Webster’s Dictionary, 1989). In
this context it denotes the realistic and practically reachable aim for family
life.
Guided participation – A process through which an experienced person helps
another person who has less experience to become competent in the
practices that are meaningful practices of everyday life in a certain culture
(Rogoff, 2003). This means that children acquire new skills by observing
and/or taking active part in more experienced persons’ activities.
Family time – Time that parents and children are together or in proximity,
directly involved in the same activity or in separate activities in the same
setting.
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8 THE FAMILY
8.1
Historical development of the family in Europe
The family we know today in Europe has been through three revolutions in the
last centuries. The following section starts with a brief description, which
highlights the most significant changes regarding the family in Europe. The time
frame described in the European context starts in 1500 where the first revolution
regarding the family occurred and describes the two other revolutions occurred
inside the family since. The last revolution is still going on at the present time.
This brief general historical introduction to what has happened in the European
context will be the basis to a more detailed explanation of the more recent
developments in the Danish society and family. The time frame for the Danish
context will start in 1950 because this is where the last revolution has started. This
is relevant for this thesis because it is still the context we are living in at the
present time. The changes occurred in Europe before 1950 can also be used to
understand the development of the Danish society and the family prior to 1950.
8.1.1 Contextual development of the family in Europe
8.1.1.1 The first revolution (1500-1600)
The first revolution concerning the family was around 1500-1600 where what we
know as nuclear family became the most popular form of family. It means that
already in 1500s living in three-generation family was not popular in Europe
anymore. Analysis of registered population that can be considered trustful shows
that during 1564-1821 only 10% of the population in Preston, England and around
Preston had relatives living in the same house. (Anderson, 1971; in Jørgensen,
1999, pg. 109). However the nuclear family at that time was bigger than what we
see today. On one hand pregnancy was not as easy to be avoided as it is now,
which influenced the number of children per couple, on the other hand a high
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child mortality was a reality at that time, which meant that it was important to
have many children because this number would likely be affected by the loss of
some children. Data registered in Copenhagen, Denmark in 1901 (much later than
the first revolution) shows still that a working class couple had in media 5,7
children and from these 1/3 died (Løkke, 1997, pg. 89). It is possible that during
the 1500s this number was even higher. However, it is difficult to obtain formal
information from that period.
8.1.1.2 The second revolution (1700-1800)
The second revolution regarding the family occurred around 1700-1800 with the
industrialisation. At this point the family no longer obtained its sustenance from
its own farm but the father became an earner related to an employer. The function
of the family, at this point, was no longer to work within agriculture for its
survival. In this period, the emotional support in the family and alliance between
the parents took place as an important role. The father needed to find resources
and support in the family to be able to work out of the house every day. The
mother was responsible for providing the resources needed inside the house for
the well being of the family.
Some of the consequences of paid employment became clear in the presence of
two distinctive social classes: workers and middle class. The family was affect by
the formation of these two distinctive social classes, which resulted in different
social values reflecting their respective social class.
The living conditions of the working class were precarious as well as their
economical conditions. For this reason, the working class developed values based
on collectivism and solidarity. Their family structure was more formal and their
life style had focus on their traditions.
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The middle class family’s economical situation was very comfortable. Their
situation gave the family a surplus of energy and choices that the working class
did not have. Their values were based on their opinions and the need for other
people did not exist in the same extent as in the working class. The middle class
developed a more informal family structure where the relationship between its
members was more emotional (Løkke, 1997).
8.1.1.3 The third revolution (from 1950)
The third revolution concerning the family is still going on at the present time.
This revolution started in the 50s as a consequence of the industrialisation when
women began to work outside their homes. In reality, many women worked
unregistered outside their homes before 1950 doing cleaning and washing but real
changes inside the family only took place with the legalisation and formalisation
of the female work (Løkke, 1997).
With both men and women working outside their homes, the society became
responsible for many issues regarding work conditions, childcare (including
socialisation and education), care for the elderly and the weak. The family became
dependent of support of the society and the society gave the directions and the
basis for the individuals to develop with a wider range of possibilities than before.
This form of family and society is still what we see in the occidental part of the
world, even more in the Scandinavian countries.
Below, a more detailed description of the social context and the effects on the
family in our society will be highlighted.
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8.2
The development of family in Denmark 1950-2000
8.2.1 Social context
In Denmark massive investments on the industry meant that even more women
got a job outside their homes. The number of women registered as working or
unemployed grown from 23% in 1960 to 42% in 1970 and to 72% in 1990
(Løkke, 1997, pg. 96). As a consequence of having both man and woman working
outside their homes, a new market for products that could help the daily life, such
as vacuum cleaner, washing machine, and freezer, grew.
The economic growth and lack of work force in the beginning of the 60s resulted
in wages being pressed up. As a consequence, people began to consume much
more. According to Løkke (1997), the 60s was shaped by optimism and belief that
the increase in material goods was the path to a better life. The necessity to have
both father and mother working outside their home became a fact in order to
afford the new life style.
With both mother and father working outside their homes, the state was forced to
invest even more in childcare so that children could be taken care of while the
parents worked full time. From 1950-70, there were massive investments on
children concerning further education.
Access to schooling became regulated by law so that children from the
countryside had the same possibilities as children living in town. Students began
to receive economical support from the state what ensured that education was the
predominant activity for young people. As result people began to study longer. In
less than ten years (1966-72) Denmark got three new universities (Odense,
Roskilde and Aalborg).
Unfortunately the economical boom did not last many years and began to decline
in the end of the 60s. Around 1973-74 unemployment became a part of the new
reality.
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The improvements concerning the general level of the education and the massive
investments on the industry, which occurred in the society some years earlier
contributed for the extinction of many jobs that demanded hard physical work.
Therefore it became difficult for people with low education to find another job, if
they became unemployed.
8.2.2 The family
The industrialisation affected the family in many ways. In the 50s, marriage and
children become a possibility for people in all social classes. Earlier some people
had to wait to get married until they earned a piece of land where they could
support their family through agriculture. If for any reason this piece of land did
not become a reality, neither did the marriage nor the family.
With the economic boom of the 50s and 60s there was no need to wait with the
marriage and to get children. Because of the expansion in the industry a paid job
could be obtained and so the sustenance of the family. As a result of such
development between 1950-60 getting married and having children became the
norm and the ideal way of life in the Danish society.
At this time, the primary function of the family was to ensure emotional contact
between its members and to organise the family members’ daily lives.
As a consequence of the industrialisation, the family did not need to get as many
children as possible to help in the agriculture. Due to better contraception methods
and the legalization of abortion the number of children per couple decreased.
This period, where couples began to choose having fewer children, has been
described by Valsiner (2000) as the period in which children changed from being
considered economical asset to become economical liability. According to
Valsiner, “in parallel to the decline in reproduction, one can observe projection of
the psychological (in contrast with economic) needs of the parents into the
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offspring” (pg. 141). It will be discussed later in 8.5.3 What does this mean for the
family?
The family members in the beginning of the 50s had a defined function inside the
family. The man worked outside the house while the wife was responsible for the
children and activities in the house.
In the middle class, it became common to have a young girl helping with the daily
tasks. These girls did not earn a lot of money but had a house to live in and could
learn what was necessary to become a future housewife.
In the workers class due to their less privileged economical situation, it was more
common to have women working outside their homes as well as being responsible
for most of the work at home.
Due to the general economical improvement in the society, the demands
concerning housework changed and the women had a lot more to do at home.
Hygiene became a popular topic and food became more than what the family
needed in order to survive. This meant that women spent quite a lot of time doing
cleaning and baking to supply the new needs of the family members. This increase
in the women’s workload occurred also in the workers class. This means that in
this case women had an increase in workload at home that had to be done besides
the job women had outside their homes (Løkke, 1997).
Around 1960, it became more common that women from all social classes worked
outside their homes. This made it possible for women to survive and develop even
if they were not married anymore. As a consequence, the number of divorces
started to grow and the norms and ideals about marriage and children changed
again.
New forms of family began to appear. People began living together and having
children without being married. People began to get divorced and get married
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again. Some people chose to live together with other people who did not want to
achieve the “old ideal” of a nuclear family, but simply live in community.
These changes are still ongoing in the current time. Still other forms of family
have appeared. For this reason it becomes necessary to understand how the family
can be defined today.
8.3
Family types in the present time
Many of us, who grow up and/or live in Denmark, might think of a family
including a mother, a father and a child/children living in the same house. Another
common picture of families can be for example a single parent with a
child/children living in the same house or a child/children living in a family that
includes one biological parent a stepparent and half brothers and sisters.
The family structures found in Denmark are also common in many other western
countries. However, it is possible to find in western societies other norms for
family structure. In Utah (United States) polygamy (marriage of one man to more
than one woman) is a common marriage form.
In a global perspective one can see even more differentiated forms of family
structure. In India polyandry (marriage of more than one man to one woman) is
allowed. In the Himalayan mountain regions, group marriage (polygynandry) is a
family structure that can be found (Valsiner, 2000)
This information helps us to understand that the definition of what a family is and
the way a family looks like vary from one society to another. For this reason if
one wants to define the word family in a way that it is does not depend on one
specific culture one should consider a criterion that is common to all families no
matter the society.
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In the past, the family was defined according to the household. The Latin word
familia was used to describe in Roman times the location and social group that
lived in the same household. It could be a mother, a father, their servants and
slaves. Later the definition of the family combined household and marriage
bound.
However, different societies allow different marriage forms and in our society at
the present time it is common that people live together and have children without
being married. For this reason it is more appropriate to define family in the
present time by considering its functionality as a starting point.
Valsiner (2000) defines family as being “some version of a functioning social
group of different-aged members who are related to one another through some
kinship and joint living relationship” (pg. 88).
According to Stratton (2002), no matter which form the family takes, its aim is to
maintain a commitment between members, and reciprocal social economic
support in order to bring up children.
Bourdieu (1997; in Christensen, 2002, pg. 9) defines family as “the group of
individuals that one has obliged feelings and emotional obligations towards”.
All these definitions of family are based on families’ functionality and are
unrelated to culture. Therefore all these concepts are useful to define “the family”
in modern times.
8.4
Families in this thesis
This thesis will be dealing with one specific form of family found in Denmark,
namely the current nuclear family (defined above in chapter 7 Definitions). The
reason for dealing with only one type of family is simply to make it simpler and
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reduce the amount of factors that I would need to regard if I considered different
family types. These factors may influence the conditions for these families.
According to “Danmarks Statistik” (2001; in Christoffersen, 2004), the most
popular family structure found in Denmark at the present time is the nuclear
family. This means that most of the children between 0 and 17 years of age live
together with both parents.
The second most common family structure found in this country is a single parent
with a child/children and the third more common type of family is a family that
includes one or more step members.
The rapport by Christoffersen (2004) shows from a research based on the register
of children born in 1986 that 60% of them still lived together with their parents
when they turned 17 years. However, this does not mean that we will be able to
see the same results again. This means that it is not possible to predict how many
of the children born in 1993 that will not experience the divorce of their parents
until 2010.
Even though the nuclear family is the most common form of family in Denmark,
much of the literature and research used for this thesis are based on data regarding
all kinds of families found in our society. For this reason when general data is
used through this thesis, I will try to analyse what the results may mean for the
current nuclear family.
8.5
The current nuclear family
As mentioned in the historical chapter the nuclear family has been the most
common form of family in Denmark since the 1500s even though its size has been
reduced and the formalities of a marital contract has lost some of its power.
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The current nuclear family has achieved a model, which is based on more equality
between its members. This new model seems more flexible and less authoritarian
than before. However, this does not necessarily mean that it has become easier or
more harmonic to live in the current nuclear family.
The functions of the family have changed and even though most of the current
literature still describes the family as being the most important framework for the
development of the child many of its functions related to upbringing and childcare
have been outsourced by the modern families to ‘professionals’.
The development, which occurred in the society, has brought both positive and
negative consequences for the daily life of the nuclear family.
For this reason it becomes relevant to highlight some of the general characteristics
of the current nuclear family. Afterwards a discussion of the possible effects on
family life will be taken.
8.5.1 Important general characteristics of the current nuclear family
8.5.1.1 The relationship between the father and the mother
An important characteristic of the current nuclear family, in our society, concerns
the relationship between the parents.
Today living together as a couple is a choice for most people. The relationship
between the partners is based on mutual support and love where both men and
women need to feel that their relationship is satisfactory in order to remain in the
relationship (Jørgensen, 1999). If the demands for the relationship are not fulfilled
a divorce can be a logical consequence. According to Gallup Institutes research in
1991 (in Jørgensen, 1999) what couples considered as the most important factors
for a satisfactory relationship were love and equality in the relationship based on
honesty and trust.
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Considering Valsiner’s theory, which sees contexts and persons being culturally
constituted and interdependent, the discourse about what is needed in order to
have a satisfactory relationship could vary significantly in another cultural
context. In a context, where for example living together or not is not a choice,
other factors may be important in order to consider a relationship as satisfactory
or not.
The society, the time in history and the culture we live in certainly influence what
is considered important for a relationship.
Gallup Institute concluded in 1991 that 88% of the couples in Denmark described
their relationship as positive (Jørgensen, 1999, pg. 115). It shows that people at
that time did try to find a relationship that they were satisfied with. Therefore the
high number of divorces that we see today can still be considered a consequence
of finding the right one, the satisfactory relationship.
It would be interesting to compare these findings with a similar and newer
research. By doing that it would be possible to see if this reality has remained
unchanged since 1991. However Gallup Institutes has not studied this subject
again and therefore it becomes uncertain to assume that the “search for the right
one” is still the norm in the present time.
8.5.1.2 The choice of having children
One more common characteristic that can be observed in current nuclear families
in our culture is the choice of having children. In our days it is not obvious that
getting married is the step that precedes having children.
Today people that live together (being married or not) are able to decide whether
to have children or not (87% of the children born in this society in 1995 were
wished children (Christoffersen, 2004 pg. 79).
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These wished children enter the world into a family, which has made many
preparations to receive them. Considerations about work, education, housing and
economical situation are some of the concerns that future parents go through when
planning to have a child.
In the present time both the mother and the father are older when they have their
first child. The average age for mothers giving birth at first time has increased
form 22.5 to 27.5 in 30 years (Christensen, 2002 pg. 4).
The fact that both parents are older today has a lot of consequences for the family.
The women for example do not have time to have as many children as before.
They may not want to either but it is a fact that they cannot. Further the parents’
age and life experience when they get their first child might mean that the child
enters a family where the parents have already achieved a more stable economical
and psychological situation.
8.5.1.3 Gender defined-roles
Another very important characteristic of the current nuclear family in our society
is that gender-defined roles receive less emphasis.
Balance of responsibilities
Many of the families today have both father and mother working outside their
homes and sharing the work within the home. Also the balance between work at
the workplace and taking care of domestic tasks (housework) is determined
through agreement between family members (Jørgensen, 1999, pg. 113).
However, the fact that both men and woman work inside and outside their homes
does not mean that the division of work is equal. Even though gender definition of
roles is not as rigid as before, women still work more at home than men do, while
men still work more outside home than women do.
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Research in Denmark shows that men and women on average work 7½ hours a
day. While men work around 5 hours outside home and 2½ at home, women
spend 4 hours at their workplace and 3½ hours doing housework. This difference
is even greater for couples with children under 7 years of age. In nuclear families
with children under 7 years of age men work 5:22 at work and 3:54 at home,
while women work 3:27 at work and 5:51 at home (Bonke, 2002 pg. 9).
Even though the roles defined by gender have been changing a lot in the past
decades there are still remains of an older norm defined by gender. However, in
Denmark as well as in other Scandinavian countries this change in gender-defined
functions has been wider accepted than in many other societies. Research shows
that the traditional marriage with gender-defined functions is deemed more
positive in countries that have a slower process of modernisation and less
individualistic tendency (Knudesen & Wærness, 1996: Jørgensen, 1999, pg. 117).
Conflicting norms
Assuming that society and persons are interdependent (Valsiner, 2000) any
development achieved in a given society affect and change the current norms in
this society. As a consequence such developments also affect the individuals
belonging to this society. Since development in a society is a gradual process it
can be expected that individuals go through a similar gradual process giving up
older norms and accepting newer ones. This process may include changes in
lifestyle that can be more or less difficult for individuals to give up (older ideals)
and accept newer ones.
A good example of conflicts between older and newer norms can be extracted
from Aunbirk’s research (1993). Even though this research regards development
in very small “societies” (8 families) it is still possible to see some of the conflicts
these individuals went through giving up older norms and ideals for the sake of
newer ones. Aunbirk interviewed 8 couples (16 persons separately) while
expecting their first child and then again 5 months after the birth.
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The mothers-to-be defined a good mother as one giving love and spending time
with the child. They remembered their own mothers as being available to their
children all the time. Even though the mothers-to-be had a positive picture of their
own mothers they did not intend to copy this model in their own role as a mother.
Being at home all the time with the children was already an old norm for these
women. The new norm implied having the women working outside the home.
Considering their definition of a good mother, it is not surprising that just five
months after giving birth, the mothers faced a problem when they began to think
about going back to work at the end of their maternity leave. Even thought they
rejected the older norm (being at home with their children as their mothers did)
they could not fulfil the expectations of the newer norm (working outside home)
without being in conflict with their own definition of being a good mother. To be
a good mother according to these women implied spending time with their
children. The ideal about spending time with their children and the reality of
working many hours outside their home did not match.
The results of this research are based on only 16 persons (8 mothers and 8 fathers)
and for this reason may not give a true picture of the Danish society in 1993.
However “if a given experience is possible, it is also subject to universalisation”
(Haug, 1987; in Willig, 2004, pg. 17). This means that we can securely affirm that
the experiences described in Aunbirk’s research were present within our culture
and society at that time.
Available time
The men interviewed for the same research wanted to have a closer relationship
with their children when the mothers returned to work after their maternity leave.
However, they did not have any plans to reduce their working hours or work
commitment.
What was a conflict for the mothers (too little time with the child) did not seem to
be a conflict for the fathers because their definition of being a good father was not
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based on the amount of time spent with their children. Their definition of a good
father included setting limits for the child, giving good values, giving the child
good and healthy experiences and hobbies, as well as giving support to the child
in decision-making processes. This means that their role as a father was not
directly affected by the time spent at home with the child.
This female definition of being a good mother which implies spending a lot of
time with the children might be part of the reason why women tend to work more
at home than men do. In Denmark, women with children between 1 and 6 years of
age use in media 2:05 per day in direct care for their children and 7:03 in indirect
care (cooking, washing, etc) where the children are present while the men use
1:12 in direct care and 4:48 in indirect care (Bonke, 2002 pg. 62).
This may indicate that it is not so easy for the women to give up the older norm of
“being there for their children” as their mothers were for the sake of a newer norm
where “both men and women work outside home”. Even though the reality has
changed, women are still in some ways trying to take most of the responsibility
regarding the children. However, because of the new circumstances women are
forced to postpone many childcare activities to after working hours.
If women were able to completely abolish the older norm it would probably be
easier for them to establish a more equal division of work at home with their
partners. However, the fact that women still experience a conflict between the
older and the newer norm may convince them to take most of the responsibility at
home to reduce their “bad conscience” for not being at home as much as “they
should”.
The logic behind this assumption would be that the modern mothers feel that they
need to work outside their homes to be equal to their partners and as a
consequence they do not have much time with their children (they are bad
mothers according to their own definition). If they are able to come home after
work at the workplace and do most of the work regarding childcare, which costs
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them a lot of time with and for their children, they might still be able to feel that
they can be good mothers anyway (according to their own definition of a good
mother).
There is no intention from my side to discuss this conflict from a feminist
perspective but research shows that women in Denmark experience this
contradiction and dilemma regarding work and family life more negatively than
men do (Hestbæk, 1995; in Rishøj, 2001, pg. 104). This does not mean that men
do not experience a conflict.
Højgaard (1991; in Aunbirk, 1993) has shown that fathers experience conflicts
about their career and family life. They want to be active in both areas but end up
prioritising work.
Summarising, all these researches show that many families in Denmark
experience conflicts regarding work and family life. It also shows that both men
and women experience such conflicts when their ideals do not meet the reality
they live in.
The way we socially and culturally construct our ideals and beliefs is the subject
of the next chapter “Norms and ideals from a socio-cultural perspective”.
8.5.2 Upbringing
“We will raise our children so that they form a strong inner authority from which
they make their own social and existential choices” (Juul, 1995)
A general common characteristic for raising children in Denmark is the weight on
individualism and the efforts to make our children stronger and ready to function
well in an ever-changing society (Jørgensen, 2001; in Rishøj, 2001). This means
that in our days autonomy and social competence are considered the key
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competencies that allow children to cope with diverse situations and interact with
other people.
Autonomy and being able to assume responsibility appeared to be between the
most important ideals for child upbringing in the 90’s (Andersen, 1991, Hestbæk,
1995 and Rishøj, 2001).
A newer research by Andersen and Hestbæk (1999) shows that what the parents
value as the most important goals for upbringing can be classified in five different
objectives:
•
Personal freedom – where on the one hand parents believe that they are
responsible for setting limits to their children and on the other hand they
want to help their children to become autonomous.
•
Competition – regarding sports and games but not other life spheres. This
characteristic is more valued by highly educated parents and it is more
popular among fathers.
•
Being able to take responsibility – in the sense that if the child has agreed
on something he/she needs to fulfil the agreement. This characteristic is
more valued by parents with a shorter or without education.
•
Solidarity – defined as being tolerant, having consideration for people’s
differences. This characteristic is more valued by highly educated parents
(mostly by mothers).
•
Honesty – defined as telling the truth when being asked was also
considered very important. Highly educated parents gave less weight to
this point.
Child upbringing in modern times has also suffered changes. As a consequence of
having both parents working outside the home, children spend a big part of their
day in different types of day care. On average a child in kindergarten age spends
around 7 hours a day in day care.
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In full, most children spend maximum six hours in day care (34% of them), 25%
spend up to seven hours, 25% up to eight hours, 11% up to nine hours and 2%
more than 9 hours, which is the same amount of time as described in 1985
(Andresen and Hestbæk, 1999, pg. 121).
This means that in praxis children’s upbringing occurs both at home (by parents)
and in day care (by professionals).
Due to the fact that children are under the supervision of professionals, who have
a relevant educational background to do this task, there is a risk that parents may
let the professionals set the rules for upbringing. This can occur because these
professionals are seen as the experts in the field. The notion of Expert & Expertise
will be discussed in chapter 9.1.2.
In general, research has shown that parents wish to cooperate with the professionals of the institutions (including daycares and etc) where their children spend
most of their daytime. This does not mean that parents do not want to take
responsibility for bringing up their children. Parents intend to make use of the
expertise of the personnel in the institution, which they believe will be helpful in
the upbringing process that they have responsibility for (Andresen and Hestbæk,
1999, pg. 122).
8.5.3 What does this mean for the family?
Considering Hundeide’s viewpoint referred before that children are born in a
world full of expectations from both the parents and the society and considering
Valsiner’s statement mentioned earlier that with the “decline in reproduction a
projection of the psychological needs of the parents into the offspring can be
observed”, it is possible to offer some hypotheses about the current state of the
nuclear family in our society.
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8.5.3.1 More resources
The present time gives the parents more possibility of choice than before.
In general, parents’ economical situation is better, which allows them more and
gives them a “more stable basis” for having a family. They are older which may
mean that they are more mature when they get their first child or at least that they
have more life experience when they decide to have children. They are aware of
what is important for their children and can make use of the expertise of daycares
where their children stay during the day.
It seems that parents have more material and psychological resources for bringing
up their children than they had before. They know what they want for themselves
and for their children.
8.5.3.2 Higher expectations
A possible consequence of this material and psychological “privileged” state of
the nuclear family is an increase in expectations that parents have to themselves
and to their children. According to Rogoff (2003) parents focus their effort on
their children helping them to achieve a position in life that is equal to or better
than their own position.
If parents in our days expect more of their children, work, homes and partners
they might end up in a situation where they feel stressed by their own requirements and demands to accomplish the “good life”.
The result can be that expectations and reality do not meet and there is a gap
between them. According to Andersen and Hestbæk (1999), this gap between
ideals and praxis has always existed. The situation may become worse if the
higher expectations apply to all of the mentioned life spheres at the same time. In
this case, it can be that the gap between what parents’ have as ideals and the
praxis is even bigger than before.
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8.5.3.3 Complexity
Even though the family has more resources than before it seems that in many
ways their daily life became more chaotic. Probably in the same way that parents’
expectations to themselves and their families have increased the expectations of
the society towards us have increased as well. It means that we may face more
internal and external demands than we did before.
The family
The fact that the family has outsourced many of its functions to professionals (e.g.
childcare) means that the well-functioning of the family has become dependent on
the successful interaction and harmonic “teamwork” with such institutions.
In the past mothers were mostly alone with their children. This means that the
ideals for child upbringing were a family matter. Certainly parents had to consider
the social norms for upbringing not to deviate too much from the norm. However,
the upbringing process was more private, which means that parents could
probably find their own ways to achieve a certain goal.
Today parents are in direct contact with the “pedagogical discourse” of
institutions, which may convince them on one best way regarding child
upbringing. This means that parents may end up accepting the norms for child
upbringing advocated by institutions (consciously or not) because they get
convinced that it is the only “right way” of doing it. This is called “Moralistic
Advice” and will be discussed in the chapter 9.1, Theoretical approaches to norm
creation.
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The work
Regarding the workplace the situation has also grown more complex. The
organisations, the number of work relations, the tasks, the products, the degree of
specialisation and consumer relations have all become intricate.
In the past many families cultivated their own land in order to produce food
products for themselves or their local community. Today most jobs are in larger
organisations with many relations between people in order to produce highly
developed products. Each of these relations may impose expectations on us and
the balance between them may create a difficult and complex work situation.
Even though the work life of both parents became more complex and demanding,
it does not necessarily mean that children automatically perceive this situation
negatively. Andersen and Hestbæk (1999) concluded from an interview with 1100
children between 10 and 15 years old that most children were satisfied with their
family life when they perceived their parents being able to handle all the activities
present in their daily lives.
According to this research when children experienced that their parents were able
to work outside their homes and at the same time fulfil the needs of the children
and the family, these children were satisfied with their daily life, even though the
parents worked full time. With basis on this interview, 40% of children considered
ideal that both parents worked full time, 34 % wanted one parent working full
time and the other part time or at home and 26% wanted both parents working
part time or at home (pg. 292).
The problem appeared when children experienced that their parents were not able
to handle all the activities related to their work and their house (which includes
children and the family as a whole). In this case children became unsatisfied and
perceived daily life negatively.
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It seems that children’s understanding of their family condition is more based on
the subjective perceptions they draw from their daily lives than the reality of the
life their parents have. It seems that it is not necessarily the amount of time that
parents work outside home or the amount of time that parents spend at home,
which make the difference for children to make them satisfied or unsatisfied.
What seems to be important is that parents can show their children that they are
able to provide for all needs outside and inside their homes, to keep all the
activities under control.
8.5.4 Discussion
The development that has taken place in our society has brought both positive and
negative consequences to the nuclear family.
On the one side the situation of the current nuclear family seems more privileged
than ever before. However, on the other side the complexity of their problems, the
constant need to interact with other persons and institutions, the necessity of
coordinating and cooperating with others demands more psychological effort to
find solutions, which seems less concrete and less universal than before. This
means that finding solutions to improve the quality for family life includes much
more complexity than before.
The solution can be that every family and its members might find their own
models of organising daily life considering their own ideals as a family and the
ideals of the institutions they need to interact with.
It seems important that parents are able to demonstrate to their children that they
can handle daily life even when it comprehends plenty of activities and too little
free time. Children seem to draw conclusions about the state of their family life
based on their subjective perceptions of how well their parents handle their daily
lives.
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It can also indicate that the healthy limit for how much work and activities parents
have in their daily lives is subjective, that is, it depends of how much parents can
handle harmonically and how harmonically children perceive their parents to be
when handling these activities.
“The family with youngster – where adults work hard in the labour market, leave
each other, enter into new relationships, have conflicts regarding upbringing, feel
stressed in an often turbulent day-to-day – but try to make everything work”
(Jørgensen, 2001: Rishoj, pg. 100).
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9 NORMS AND IDEALS FROM A SOCIOCULTURAL PERSPECTIVE
This chapter includes some theoretical considerations about how norms are
created in a given society and how these norms may influence the ideals
individuals establish for their lives.
Both Valsiner (2000) and Hundeide (2004) emphasise the importance of sociocultural aspects when understanding individuals in a given society. For this reason
it is important to consider how the context can influence the individual’s view on
a specific subject.
There are many possible ways an individual’s perceptions can be influenced by
the society he/she lives in. The concepts of moralistic advice, expert & expertise,
appropriation and constraints will be explained below. Further to allow the reader
to see these concepts as having certain flexibility the concept of participation in
cultural communities (Rogoff, 2003) will be introduced.
9.1
Theoretical approaches to norm creation
9.1.1 Moralistic Advice
The concept of moralistic advice (Valsiner, 2000) refers to when persons or
institutions try to persuade others to follow their desires in order to achieve an
objective. These persons or institutions do not mention the many possibilities that
exist to achieve the same goal. They focus only on one manner of achieving a
specific goal, which will as consequence become the “right way”. According to
Valsiner (2000), parents are susceptible to moralistic intervention because they
are “vulnerable to social suggestions in their role of coping with the uncertainties
around the survival and development of their infants” (pg. 192).
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Moralistic advice points to one “right” possible way of achieving a certain goal.
However, it does not point to alternative ways to achieve the same goal, other
“right ways”. This decreases the range of possibilities the person has at her/his
disposal to reach a certain goal. An example of Moralistic Advice is mentioned
before (under the section 8.5.3.3 Complexity) when parents accept the
“pedagogical discourse” advocated by the institutions they interact with and
believe that what is stated by these institutions is the only right way to bring
children up.
9.1.2 Expert & Expertise
Another way people’s ideals can be influenced in a certain direction is when in a
given society some people become experts on a certain subject and some people
become consumers of this expertise (Valsiner, 2000). When knowledge is not
evenly distributed in a society there will be a variation of knowledge between
individuals. This is important because this difference in knowledge creates a room
where ”different forms of socially constructed competence are made detectable”
(Moore and Tumin, 1949; in Valsiner, 2000, pg. 243).
An example is when parents believe that the professionals in the kindergarten are
best ones to answer questions regarding their children (example in the section
8.5.2 Upbringing). This gives the parents a position of consumers of an expertise.
It can be useful for parents assuming that the professionals have more knowledge
about children regarding specific topics and therefore the parents can ask for a
second opinion on a specific subject. However, this may inhibit some parents in
trusting their own capability as parents, which would mean that they may stop
acting based on their own ideals to accept other’s ideals and goals.
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9.1.3 Appropriation
Hundeide (2004) points to another manner in which people’s viewpoints can be
influenced by the society. This comprehends the idea of ‘appropriation’, hence
that the “social patterns actively gets reconstructed through the interaction with
important persons that we are in contact with and through the individuals
participation in socio-cultural routines and practices. In this way the individual
psychological patterns can be perceived as individual reconstructions and
variations within the society’s limits, which are culturally, biologically and
historically determined” (pg. 11).
A child who is under the care of a kindergarten may come home with new
standards for eating, washing hands or something else that can make sense but
were not necessarily the way the child was taught at home. This child has
reconstructed a new norm through the interaction with other children and
personnel that this child is in contact with.
9.1.4 Constraints
Valsiner (1997) has developed a theoretical system that is related to the idea of
appropriation. This system is further operationalised in a way that the process of
appropriating something can be viewed in a dynamic form. The system was
originally created to explain how children acquire new skills. However, Valsiner
believes that the model can be used to understand how adults’ psychological
processes can be influenced.
The concept of constraints in human development has been defined as limitation,
restrictions that can be both external and internal. External constraints can be for
example when parents limit the physical area where a child can crawl. Internal
constraints regards the child’s self-constraining of acting, thinking, etc.
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Constraints organise both the internal and the external aspects of psychological
process. In the very early age, they are only external but if the concept of
constraint is used to understand adults it is possible to see that a certain constraint
(for example a religion) can influence both the external (actual actions) and the
internal (thoughts, norms) psychological process.
Due to the original use of constraints for explaining the process of a child
acquiring new skills, an exemplification concerning this subject will be used so
that the reader can better view the dynamic process.
Considering the idea of constraints parents have had the possibility to accept or
not a certain norm within the boundaries of the society they live in. These parents
would have been exposed to the full set of norms of a giving society and would
have interpreted certain norms as being their own, that is, important for them.
With basis on these norms parents would take actions to help their children to
achieve specific goals. What parents come to believe that is important for their
children is based on their understanding of what the society believes to be
important for individuals to achieve. Therefore the parents’ set of norms is not
necessarily a full copy of the society norms, but it is based on the interpretation
and acceptance of these norms (still within the boundaries of this society).
Before illustrating how Valsiner (2000) has operationalised this process, it is
necessary to understand the definition of zones. Zones can be understood as
structured regions that provide the current state of development and define the
future set for possible actions. There are three kinds of zones; zone of free
movement (ZFM), zone of promoted action (ZPA) and zone of proximal
development (ZPD). With these concepts in mind the full process of acquiring a
new skill can be viewed below.
The starting point is that the mother and the father living in a giving society have
some specific norms for child development. These parents have an expectation
that the child should for example be able to eat on his/her own at a certain age.
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To enable this process the child is allowed to sit in his/her chair and tries to eat
some mashed fruit that was put on the child’s table (that is within the child’s
reach). The child will play with the food; and will occasionally taste and eat a bit
of this food. These activities that the child executes are within the child’s ZFM. It
means the child has received an acceptance from the parents that it is OK to play
and eat the food. The parents have established the limits for the activity “learning
to eat on his/her own”.
If the child begins to throw food on people passing by it might be considered
outside of the limit established by the parents, which is outside the child’s ZFM.
Now the child has learned to eat alone using his/her hands (this new skill has been
incorporated to the child’s ZFM). The parents may believe that it is time to
introduce a spoon. In the giving society children do use spoons when they reach a
certain age and the parents have completely accepted this norm. They want to help
their child to learn a new skill, which is eating with a spoon. Their actions to
enable this process are defined as the zone of promoted action (ZPA). What
parents have as goals for the child is called the zone of proximal development
(ZPD), which is all the set of possible next states of development considering the
relationship of the ZFM and ZPA.
If eating with a spoon is not beyond the child’s actual motor development, parents
may succeed in teaching the child to eat with a spoon promoting the new skill
achievement by allowing the child to try eating with a spoon. The action can then
be incorporated to the repertoire allowed within the child’s ZFM while for
example using a fork or a knife is still outside the ZFM or ZPA at this time.
The mechanisms explained above would be the same in the case of adults
acquiring new norms.
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9.2
Participation in cultural communities
Based on the idea of participation in cultural communities (Rogoff, 2003), it is
possible to see variations in the degree to which people accept and share norms in
a given society. In this understanding we do not generalise culture characteristics
in categories such as “middle class” or a “certain ethnical group”. This means that
we cannot conclude for example that all individuals belonging to middle class do
this or that.
The notion of participation in cultural communities considers certain variability
within society. This means that in a given society there are many different
“communities” and that individuals participate in some communities and share
some of the norms of this community but not necessarily all of them. Individuals
can be involved in different communities that may overlap with each other.
Person A for example works as a doctor and participates in some of the practices
of this group (shares some norms). At the same time he is a family father and
shares the practices of this group. Further he belongs to a certain religion, which
has its own practices where he participates in some of the practices of that group.
All of it still being for example Danish citizen and participating in some of the
practices of this group.
9.3
Discussion
The concepts mentioned above emphasise the interaction of the individual and the
society, which is the perspective chosen for this thesis. These concepts are useful
to understand how personal beliefs can be influenced and guided in a certain
direction. They show that what we come to believe and the way we act is
influenced by the existing norms of the society we live in. The degree of
flexibility to accept fully or reject a certain norm is not mentioned as being
possible in the concepts of moralistic advice, expert & expertise and
appropriation. This does not mean that these first three concepts do not allow
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certain flexibility. The explanation can be that only the concept of constraints has
been operationalised in detail, which makes it easier for the reader to view the
detailed process.
If we consider the idea of participation in cultural communities (Rogoff, 2003) as
a basis for the other concepts we can assume that certain flexibility to accept more
or less a norm is also possible regarding the three first concepts of 9.1, Theoretical
approaches to norm creation. These theoretical concepts are useful to understand
how people come to accept certain norms and can be influenced by the society
they live in.
However, it is necessary to mention that in real life there are also many
characteristics of a certain society that can influence the degree of flexibility
people have when “choosing” to accept a certain norm. There are both personal
limitations (educational level and knowledge) and socio-political limitations
(political regime, religion, and access to information) that can limit individuals’
choices consciously or not.
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10 EMPIRICAL STUDIES
The literature used in this thesis will be briefly introduced below. In the next
section, Description and analysis of empirical studies, the methodology, results
and conclusions of the introduced literature will be described more detailed.
Afterwards an overall discussion of the combined literature will be presented
followed by the summarised conclusion of this thesis and some final remarks.
In this thesis I have used a number of studies, which are concerned with general
ideals and praxis for life with children. Denmark is the culture I am most
interested in but even so I have chosen to look at some international studies. My
intention is to gain insight into the cultural differences regarding ideals and praxis
to:
•
better understand the complexity of the issues regarding family life
•
make cultural comparisons to be used in the analysis
•
get inspiration from other cultures
that could be useful in a Danish context.
10.1 Overview of empirical studies
I found it relevant for this thesis to consider empirical studies that are concerned
with:
•
Sources of influence on parental beliefs
•
Ideals for life with children
•
Praxis in life with children
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Sources of influence on parental beliefs
I consider it important to find empirical evidence of what affects parental beliefs
to better understand how beliefs are formed and how they may change or be
changed.
Ideals for life with children
This is a key element of the problem statement. Ideals represent the ultimate aim
parents have for their children.
Praxis in life with children
This is the other key element of the problem statement. Since ideals by definition
cannot be realized it is interesting to see what parents can accomplish in praxis. In
other words if the praxis reflect the ideals parents have for life with children.
10.2 Description and analysis of empirical studies
Below I refer in more detail to the relevant literature used in this thesis. The
structure will be as described in the overview above.
After the description of each of the empirical studies there will be a
discussion of the implications of the study for the subject of the thesis. This
discussion will be in italic as this text.
After each of the three sections there will be a summary to be used for the
following final discussion of the empirical studies and the conclusion.
10.2.1 Sources of influence on parental beliefs
Andersen and Hestbæk (1999) interviewed 1700 parents to children between 3
and 15 years in Denmark. The aim was to investigate what parents considered to
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be the most important goals for child upbringing. To make the sample of parents
representative for the country, aspects such geographical location of living, family
type, gender, educational and occupational background were taken into account.
Parents had to rate 16 statements, which showed the extent to which they agreed
to them.
These statements were transformed into five distinctive goals for upbringing that
were according to Andersen and Hestbæk (1999) widely accepted as current goals
for bringing up children in this country. These were:
•
personal freedom
•
competition
•
solidarity
•
honesty
•
ability to honour an agreement (responsibility)
as described in more detail under 8.5.2. These goals had also been identified in
previous studies in other researches (Gundelach & Riis, 1992, and Juul, 1995).
Even though these five goals for upbringing were widely accepted, parents gave
different importance to the individual goals. The goal “being able to honour an
agreement” for example was identified as one of the five distinctive goals for
child upbringing. However, it was more valued by parents with a shorter or no
education. Parents with higher education gave relatively less importance to this
goal.
Andersen and Hestbæk (1999) argue that parents with less education might get
jobs with a lower level of autonomy and responsibility where it is important to
follow instructions. Therefore being able to honour an agreement may be more
important for these parents.
In the study of Andersen and Hestbæk it is possible to see that culture
plays a very important role in influencing parental beliefs. Most of the
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parents – that were selected as a representative sample for Denmark –
elected the same five goals as being the most important goals for bringing
up their children despite of socio-economic differences. However, the
study also shows that parents’ socio-economic conditions has an influence
on parental beliefs, because these influenced the weight parents gave to
each of the five common goals for child upbringing.
Okagaki and Luster (1993) have investigated empirical studies from different
countries that examined what influences parental beliefs. Their conclusion is:
•
Diverse factors influence parents’ beliefs such as socio-economics,
characteristics of the child and the mother, marital situation, occupation
and advice from experts, friends and neighbours
•
New information about parenting and child development influence
parental beliefs
•
Parents’ attitudes to their role as parents and their children are influenced
both positively and negatively by parents’ work, marital relationship, etc.
•
Parents have a tendency to value characteristics they found useful in their
own personal and professional life and believe that these characteristics
are important to their children
This study points to parental beliefs being susceptible to the influence of
diverse factors. This means that it is necessary to take all these factors into
account if one intends to get the full picture of a family. Only by considering
these factors it is possible to understand the dynamics of a certain family. On
the other hand the study also indicates that it is possible to change peoples
views and attitudes through various influences, e.g. through new information
about parenting. This of course is useful when trying to improve conditions for
families.
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Okagaki and Luster’s findings can be grouped into two categories, which may
give a better overview of the influences on parental beliefs.
•
Factors that are influenced by the culture (new information, advice
from experts, friends and neighbours)
•
Factors that are influenced by the socio-economical conditions of the
parents (their work, their marital status, their professional
background)
Similar conclusion is found in Andersen and Hestbæk (1999) above.
Tudge (1999) has studied the ways children become competent members of their
cultural group. Tudge investigated different industrialised countries with similar
levels of technological complexity (USA, Korea, Russia and Estonia). The data
was collected from observations of children and from questionnaires filled in by
parents in their home countries, in families chosen carefully according
predetermined criteria.
The results showed that parents from the middle-class in all these societies tended
to evaluate self-direction more positively than the working-class parents. At the
same time, middle class children initiated activities more often than the workingclass children. Middle-class children were also more likely than working-class
children to engage in academic lessons and play with academic objects.
Tudge (1999) concluded that parents belonging to the middle-class provide more
academic activities to their children because they believe that such activities are
important for their children to take part in. These activities may not be valued as
highly in the working-class. Parents from the middle-class provide an
environment, which supports self-direction and initiative more than working-class
parents do.
This study comprehends four different countries with different cultures.
However, the families have similar socio-economic conditions. In the
areas surveyed in the research (self-direction, initiative to activities and
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type of play), these families had similar goals for their children across
cultures and had similar child outcomes as well. For these characteristics,
socio-economic conditions seem to be more influential than cultural
factors. It should be noted here that the survey focuses on some specific
areas as mentioned and does not imply the same conclusion for other
areas where culture may be more influential than socio-economics.
It is also worth noticing that the conclusion of this study is in congruence
with that of Andersen and Hestbæk (1999) referenced above if we assume
that educational level has a high correlation with social class and that
“following instructions” is opposed to “self-direction”. The value given to
self-direction and initiative is higher in middle-class families than in
working-class families.
Andersen and Hestbæk (1999)
Tudge (1999)
Group
Honour agreement/
Self-direction/
follow instructions
initiative
Academic
Less
Less educated
More
More
Less
Group
Middle class
Working
Even though Tudge (1999) shows that parental beliefs influence parental
behaviour and that parental behaviour influences the behaviour of the
children in accordance with the beliefs of the parents, other studies have
shown that the effects on the children can be mediated by characteristics
of the child (Stratton; in Valsiner, 1985). These characteristics include the
developmental state of the children, their set of beliefs and their personal
characteristics. This means that the results on the child can vary
depending on the child itself. For some children the effect will be as
intended by the parents, for others the effect will be less than expected,
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thus the result only partially as the parents wanted. Yet in other cases the
outcome of the children could be counter to the intentions of the parents.
Summary
The studies above point to culture and socio-economics as being main influences
on parental beliefs. In one study, parents share the same beliefs across socioeconomic classes but within the same culture. In another study the same beliefs
are present in similar socio-economic classes but across different cultures.
The relative importance of these two main influences is not investigated by any of
the studies. Depending on the aspect in question, it may be one or the other that is
the more important of the two.
It is also shown in two of the studies that parental belief has an influence on
parental behaviour, so that parents tend to influence their children in the
direction they believe to be beneficial in life.
Finally, there are studies that point to child outcome being mediated by
characteristics of the child, therefore parental behaviour does not by itself
determine child outcome.
These mechanisms can be summarised in the model below.
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Culture
Socio-economics
Parental beliefs
Parental
behaviour
Child
characteristics
Child outcome
The interdependency that exists between persons and culture (Valsiner, 2000 and
Hundeide, 2004) is not highlighted in this model. In real life parents have the
ability to reflect upon norms, change their opinion and eventually change culture;
parents also have the ability to change their socio-economic situation. Children
are surrounded by culture in their contact with school, neighbourhood, TV,
literature, etc. These are to some extent formed by or adapt to children’s opinions
and behaviour. In this way children can also affect culture and are not only being
influenced by culture. The model does not show all these interactions as this
would result in arrows between most of the elements and pointing to both
directions. However, the model above highlights the processes that have being
researched empirically in this thesis.
10.2.2 Ideals for life with children
Aunbirk (1993) interviewed sixteen persons in Denmark (eight couples) regarding
their ideals for life with children while the mothers were expecting their first
baby. Another interview was made five months after the birth of the child. The
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aim of the study was to compare the ideals described by the mothers and the
fathers prior to the birth of the child and their praxis only five months after the
birth. The mothers interviewed had had their own mothers at home (not working
outside home) while they were children, but did not want to repeat the same
model. Their ideals for life with children were:
•
Spending plenty of time with their children
•
Being available for their children when needed (as their own mothers had
been)
At the same time these mothers wanted to go back to their jobs. Their ideal was to
have a part-time job but in reality they were going back to a full-time job after
maternity leave. The reasons for this included economical needs and an apparent
absence of part time jobs in their occupations. Going back to a full time work
would imply not spending as much time with their children as the mothers
considered being ideal.
Even though going back to a full time occupation was not the declared
ideal for these mothers, they perceived themselves being bound by
financial requirements of the family and the availability of suitable job
offerings. Therefore going back to work implied not living in congruence
with their ideals. Having a job to support the family required them to work
full-time. A reduction in working hours to allow spending more time with
their children was not an available option in reality. Therefore they were
unable to practice their ideals; they turned out to be in contradiction with
real life conditions.
In another Danish study Hestbæk (1995) interviewed qualitatively sixteen couples
(32 people separately) on their ideals and their praxis for life with children. These
parents had at least one child, 2-6 years old, and both parents had an occupational
job.
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The results show that the strategies parents with small children use for structuring
daily life vary depending on the family’s life mode (self-employed, employed,
career-oriented life modes or a combination of two of these life modes).
According to the results, the ideals for a good parent and for a good child life
were similar across life modes. These included:
•
Having plenty of time together with the children and in this way having
the children under shorter day-care days
•
Giving the children a daily life without stress where the children could feel
that the parents are there for them
•
Providing a secure environment for the children
•
Doing interesting things together with the children (from the child’s point
of view)
Even though ideals across these family types were similar their praxis varied
significantly. These differences in praxis occurred due to differences in their
concrete life conditions such as their economical situation, flexibility in working
hours, type of job of the parents and workload.
These families were analysed based on whether they acted more influenced by
tradition (he has a full time job, she has a part time job) or by modernity (both
parents work full time). The conclusion is that parents who act more modernityinfluenced experience more discrepancy between their ideals and their praxis.
There is a larger difference between what is theoretically ideal and physically
possible in this case. This discrepancy becomes bigger the more modernityinfluenced parents behave.
Since this study shows that ideals for child life and parenting are similar
across life modes it indicates that these ideals are determined by the
general culture of the society. The praxis however is largely determined by
socio-economic conditions, which impose limitations on the practical
possibilities.
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Both Danish researches, Hestbæk (1995) and Aunbirk (1993) above, point
to the same problem. Plenty of time with the children is viewed as the most
important goal for a life with children. However, this seems to be an
unrealistic goal to achieve due to concrete life conditions, which force
most of these parents to work more than they wanted. These parents
perceived their situation as being out of their control. Naturally the
situation becomes more difficult the more the parents work (modernity
influenced parents).
Björmberg (1991) has examined Swedish parents’ ideals for life with children.
Björmberg’s work is written with basis in the results extracted from a research in
which she investigated parenthood in Sweden in the end of the 1980s. In this
study around 300 parents were interviewed. The study shows that the ideals of
Swedish parents for family life are:
•
Spending all their free time with the family
•
Both parents having a professional life
This means that evenings and weekends should be used in the family. The focus
was not on what activities parents and children should do together, but simply on
being together. Children spent most of their free time at home with their parents.
This study shows what Swedish parents consider important for themselves and for
their children and how they prioritise to use their time.
In conclusion, the ideals of these parents do not stipulate how time should
be used or how much time should be used with the children. It only implies
that the time remaining after work should be spent with the children. This
is by nature a realistic goal since one goal starts where the other one
ends. This is a pragmatic way to view ideals for family life that allow
ideals and praxis to be in congruence.
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Bimbi (1991) has examined parenthood in Italy in 1985 through interviews with
92 young parents with only one child. The results of this study show that the ideal
for these parents regarding family life was to give lots of affection to their child.
Their image of modern parents was also to have equal responsibility for the child.
These parents believed that the child had a right to all the care and attention the
parents could give. For this reason, most of the parents had decided to have only
one child. Even though many couples saw two children as being the ideal family
size, they were aware of a number of difficulties that a second child would bring.
Furthermore, the majority of the parents believed that in order to support the
social development of their children they should be under the expertise of
institutionalised day-care. Grandparents were not seen as the ideal solution for
taking care of the children, even though most of them were available to do so.
Parents saw them as passing on an old-fashioned model.
In effect, the high requirements of these parents to themselves lead them to
choosing one child only. This is in spite of their declared ideal of a family
size with two children. So in this respect these Italian parents end up in
incongruence with one of their ideals. However, they make a conscious
choice, so that the incompatibility of the two main ideals - all the care and
attention to the child and having two children - is resolved by prioritising
the first one and giving up the second. This is a necessary prioritisation to
fit real life conditions. However, contrary to the Danish parents in the
study of Aunbirk (1993), the Italian parents are able to fulfil at least one
of their declared ideals. The difference is that the Italian parents of this
study make choices that are within their control so they are able to
practice their priorities.
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Summary
These studies show some cultural differences in parental beliefs and behaviours
as it could be expected. They also show that socio-economic factors play an
important role in defining the available options in praxis. Furthermore, it
becomes possible to draw interesting conclusions based on these different studies.
Some groups of parents seem to be more able to live according to their ideals
than others.
There can be different explanations to this:
1. Some parents are better at prioritising the different areas of their lives
(work, family, etc).
2. Some parents have more realistic goals for their life with children.
3. Some parents may receive the necessary support from the society to
practice their ideals or are able to adjust their goals within the frame they
actually have.
The parents mentioned in both Danish studies expressed the wish to prioritise
their children by reducing working hours.
When parents prioritise their children over their jobs, this will generally have an
economic effect for the family. This may be acceptable, if the negative effects are
perceived as being outweighed by the benefits of having more time with the
family.
This could be the case with a moderate reduction in working hours and a
proportional reduction in income. However, if the only option for a reduction in
working hours is a major change in occupation, e.g. a switch from a well-paid to
a basic job, then the economical effects may be unacceptable for the family and
the parents may feel compelled to choose the longer working hours. The lack of
part time jobs within an occupational area makes the wish of working fewer hours
and spending more time with their children unrealistic or undesirable in their
society.
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Another possible explanation for parents not practicing their ideals could be that
they do not actually make a prioritisation and are unwilling to assume the
negative consequences of their choices. Prioritising implies making choices. If
parents- consciously or not- regard all aspects of their lives equally important
then in reality they are not prioritising anything. It may not be possible to do
everything they would like to.
By not making a conscious prioritisation parents will probably be spending time
on activities that are not the most important and will experience a lack of time in
other important areas, e.g. with their children.
10.2.3 Praxis in life with children
Okagaki and Luster (1993) have studied the correlation between parental beliefs
and parental behaviours towards their children. The data was obtained through
semi-structured interviews with mothers and the use of scoring methods that focus
on normative development of the children and on what parents can do to promote
development both directly through interaction with the child and indirectly
through structuring the environment.
The study concludes that there is a correlation between parental beliefs and
parenting behaviour. Parents’ beliefs about the way children learn influence
parents in providing the environment they believe necessary for their children’s
learning.
For example, mothers who believe that child outcomes can be affected by parental
practices provide an environment, which is more supportive, than the environment
provided by mothers who believe that parental practices are less important.
This study has been included in the beginning of this praxis chapter
because it shows that there is actually an effect of parental beliefs on their
praxis. It is interesting and important to have this knowledge so that we
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cannot suspect that parents’ ideals are disconnected from their praxis.
There are other factors that influence parents’ praxis, such as socioeconomic factors as mentioned in the previous chapter, but parental
beliefs are also an influence on their praxis.
Farver (1999) has studied the influence of culture in child development through
direct observation and use of recordings. The aim of the study was to understand
the roles of mother and siblings as play partners in Indonesia, Mexico and United
States.
The data was analysed using the activity setting analysis, which look at five
different components to understand an activity and its consequences. The
components analysed are:
1. The personnel and their accessibility in activities during the child’s daily
schedule
2. Nature of the tasks being performed and the child’s participation in them
3. Understanding the meaning of an activity for those persons and the
reasons for performing the activity
4. Scripts that conduct children’s participation and the cultural norms for
self-expression
5. Obtaining data on relevant cultural values, goals and beliefs
The results show that there is a difference between cultures in the role of mothers
and siblings and that these differences exist due to differences in the five
components above listed.
In the US, children normally live in nuclear families while in Mexico it is
common to have the extended family living together. This means that the amount
of personnel and their accessibility throughout the child’s routine were different
(component 1).
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In the US, primarily mothers and secondly older siblings were considered play
partners for the child. In Mexico and Indonesia, older siblings and mixed age
peers, but not mothers, were considered play partners. The children in Mexico and
Indonesia developed a play-behaviour similar to that of the American mothers.
Farver (1999) argues that in the absence of the mothers, older siblings and mixed
age peers develop the ability to do what mothers do in the American culture.
American mothers believe that it is important to support the development of
children’s social and cognitive skills. This learning in their view occurs through
playing. Because they are the primary playmates for their children they assume
the responsibility for performing this task. The methodology is direct and
pedagogical play with the children.
Mexican mothers believe that having the children around while performing
domestic tasks supports the development of their children. This is the way
children learn adult’s activities in their culture. Children’s learning occur through
observation and participation in adults’ activities under the supervision of a more
experienced person (described as “guided participation” by Rogoff, 2003).
Therefore playing directly with the child is less important for these mothers. They
consider playing as being primarily amusement for the child and not supporting
development of important skills. The differences in beliefs can explain the
differences in praxis in these different cultures (component 3).
Farver’s study shows that in all three societies the mothers are supporting
the development of their children; however there are differences in their
praxis
With reference to the model presented above in the end of 10.2.1 (Sources
of influence on parental beliefs) these differences in parental behaviour
have their source in culture and socio-economics.
Parental beliefs may be determined by the traditions of their cultures both
regarding the content and the methodology to be used in child upbringing.
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Parents may continue the tradition, possibly without reflecting on the
usefulness of this.
Socio-economics may influence parental beliefs which again are reflected
in parental behaviour. Socio-economics may lead parents to believe that
their children would benefit from a certain direction in life.
Socio-economics may also set the boundaries to what is possible and
practical in a certain society. In traditional societies, children might be
needed as labour or forced to learn the tasks that they will have to perform
as soon as they become adults. Their participation in adult’s activities is
for this reason practical and possible (also because there may be a lack of
possibility for child day care). This participation in the adults’ work
enables the child to learn and develop.
In a highly industrialised society as the US is, children are normally not
considered as labour. Generally some sort of day care is available and
children’s participation in their parents’ work would neither be practical
for the parent nor promote much learning and development for the
children due to the complexity of the tasks performed by the parents.
However, even in a highly industrialised society there are certain basic
tasks where children could take part and develop skills through “guided
participation” e.g. at home (housework) as in the traditional societies.
Two studies mentioned earlier also have elements that are relevant for this chapter
onPraxis in life with children. The study of Hestbæk (1995) shows that most
Danish families with children where both parents work full time experience time
pressure. They use two main strategies to make daily life function:
•
Planning and coordination between the partners
Page 69
•
Efficiency at work in order to come home as soon as possible where they
also try to be as efficient as possible regarding household activities to have
time to be with the children afterwards
Finally, parents who can afford to buy domestic help are willing to do this in order
to use the time saved with the children.
Björmberg (1991) has highlighted in her study that Swedish mothers do not
expect their children to help with housework even though the family is together at
home. Children do not have to do “boring work” and the mothers consider it to be
an advantage that they can do the housework quicker without the children.
In both studies there is an indication that parents do not see household
activities as being beneficial for children or as being a pleasant activity to
do together.
In the case of the Swedish mothers it does not seem problematic that they
spend this time without being with their children. Their ideal is only to be
at home with their children, not necessarily doing the same activity.
In the case of the Danish parents who express dissatisfaction for not
having enough time with their children it seems to be a paradox that they
do not consider performing some household activities together with their
children. It would probably take more time to do so but on the other hand
it would increase the family’s time together, as illustrated below.
Housework
Leisure
Only leisure time together with family
Housework w children
Leisure
All time together with family
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Summary
Based on the studies summarised above, it seems that children in industrialised
societies do not participate in most adult responsibilities neither at home nor at
work. At the work place children would generally neither be able to contribute
nor benefit from participating. At home the parents do not see the need or the
benefit of including the children.
In the industrialised societies there is no need for child’s labour nor can the child
contribute to most of the highly specialised tasks of parent’s occupational life.
These are socio-economic premises that lead to children not taking part in adult
activities in many of the highly industrialised societies.
In less industrialised societies, children take part in the adults’ responsibilities or
are present and observing their parents. These are activities that children are
able to learn from and that will be useful in their adult lives. Also the child’s
labour is often needed in the generally labour intensive tasks.
Several Danish studies indicate that parents perceive time with their children to
be scarce. At the same time, Danish parents have many house related activities
that need to be done before they feel they are able to spend time with their
children. Therefore it is a possibility to consider including the children in
activities that they can take part in, even when there is no practical need to do so.
This would increase the time parents and children have together.
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11 FINAL DISCUSSION
Based on the empirical literature above we have established two main influences
on parents’ ideals for their life with children; culture and socio-economics.
The culture is comprised by various sources of influence that is everywhere in our
society and family life: upbringing, history, traditions, norms, literature, media,
etc. Culture is often not questioned since we are exposed to its influence
throughout our upbringing and adult lift and it becomes “natural” premises for life
(Hundeide, 2004).
Socio-economics influence our ideals on different levels. The society as a whole
provides a number of options and limitations for family life, depending on e.g.
availability of day-care, educational institutions, security, employment, etc, which
may influence the ideals that we are able to conceive. But also on a personal level,
socio-economics play a role; we belong to a “social class” with certain
possibilities and views that influence our ideals for future goals and family life.
Two of the surveys referenced in the previous chapter, show that groups with
similar socio-economics share a number of characteristics across different
cultures. Other researches referenced earlier show that other important
characteristics seem to be determined by the culture of a given society. So both
sources of influence are important in shaping our ideals and beliefs for life with
children – and probably for most areas of life.
In Denmark the concrete ideals for life with children that seem to be most valued
are mainly related to time: a daily life without stress, parents being available for
their children, shorter day-care days, etc. Others are possibly time-related too;
parents mention doing interesting activities with the children from the child’s
point of view and providing a secure environment for the children.
Time is perceived as scarce in families with small children.
Page 72
The development, which has taken place in Denmark in the past fifty years, has
brought a much improved standard of living to the society in general. With this,
people’s requirements to “a good life” have increased to unprecedented levels.
This material wealth has come at the cost of time; parents have to work more
outside home to sustain their high standards of living. Also immaterial
requirements have increased in recent years; people expect interesting occupation,
leisure activities, satisfactory relationships, etc. All of these require time, personal
energy and money. This has been addressed in section 8.5.3 (What does this mean
for the family?)
The balance between all these interests and requirements to modern life can be
complicated. Without making conscious prioritisations the actual areas that
receive most time and attention may be “random” and not necessarily those that
are the priorities of the individual or the family. Also the result may very well be a
chaotic competition for the limited time available, dissatisfied family members
and bad conscience on the part of the parents.
When more time stands out as a high wish in several surveys of family life it may
be for several reasons
•
Socio-economic limitations, e.g. no part time occupation available or
“cost” of reduced working time too high
•
Economic need, e.g. people in a basic job may not have an actual choice to
reduce working hours
•
Wrong prioritisation, e.g. people that have economic room for making
prioritisation and even so claim to wish for more time for the family
It is possible to wish that you had it all at the same time, but for most people this
is probably not realistic. With the limitations of real life the best realistic solution
is most likely reached by making conscious choices for what to prioritise.
With the possible exception of the lowest income groups, families in our society
have room to make choices. It is interesting then why lack of time stands out so
Page 73
significantly as a problem for modern families. A perfect balance between the
family’s wishes for material goods and time would mean that these two subjects
would come out as being equally needed for modern families.
The explanation then can only be that either
• No actual prioritisation is made (chaos prevails)
• Structural limitations prevent the best choice for the family
The limitations can be e.g. as mentioned earlier in 10.2.2 (Ideals for life with
children), that part time jobs are not available so that a proportional reduction in
time and remuneration is not an option. Likewise there may be disproportional
consequence to the career if an employee opts for reduced working hours,
extended parental leave, etc.
Even with the possible limitations mentioned above there will be a “best choice”
for the family to make. This would be the family’s best possible option to match
its priorities and the family should for the short run content themselves with this
choice and make the best within the limitations. Looking back at the surveys
references in section 10.2.2 (Ideals for life with children), it seems that the
Swedish parents in the survey may have made their choices consciously, were
clear about their priorities and accepted the limitations of their choices. The
Danish parents in another survey came out as possibly not being clear about their
priorities and wishing for more time with the family. It would seem better for
these parents to make the best possible choice and then live with this choice, in
other words make the best of the available options.
Practical life with children has been the subject of study in a number of surveys
referenced earlier and specifically the time issue has been addressed in a survey
referenced in section 8.5.1.3 (Gender defined-roles). Though the notions of
having time and being busy are subjective and individual in their evaluation, it is
obvious that families with small children have many activities to take care of
Page 74
during a day and are generally pressed for time. (Whether this in part is due to
wrong or missing prioritisation from the parents has been discussed above).
To work for improvements of the general premises in the society for life with
children is a long-term possibility. It is possible that the society can provide
subsidies to families, e.g. as it is being done today with the options available to
receive payment of a reduced salary while staying at home with the children for
up to a year. Another option could be to ensure availability of reduced working
time for families with small children (or to everybody), e.g. by legislation forcing
companies to offer part time occupation. In any case, the issues of employees
being “branded” or evaluated as being less attractive labour when making use of
the available options, shows that it is important to develop solutions that
employers can also accept.
Short-term options to the issue of lack of time for families with small children will
have to be found within the current boundaries for this group in our society. Since
the state of being parents with small children is a passing condition it may be
difficult to raise support for major changes in the long-term. So finding for partial
solutions to the problems of families with small children is therefore an important
issue.
The parents mentioned issues related to “time” as being what they are missing at
the moment. Therefore it becomes logical that parents should try to allocate and
use the scarce time they have in the most optimal manner.
Among the many activities that parents have to take care of in daily life (apart
from their occupational work) some include indirect care for the children such as
making food and others are direct care e.g. giving children a bath. In some of the
surveys referenced above parents express that they try to get the necessary house
tasks (indirect care activities) done before they are available to be with their
children. The parents prefer to perform these activities on their own because they
believe that the children would not benefit from participating and it is quicker to
Page 75
do it without involving the children. However, time that parents and children
spend together (“family time”) would increase, if children took part in these
activities, as mentioned in 10.2.3 (Praxis in life with children).
An important prerequisite for this to work in praxis is that parents are able to have
a pleasant time together with their children while performing such activities. This
could be difficult if either the parents or the children are tired after having spent
their day at work and kindergarten, and this might not be the right setting for
including the children. If this is the case in the daily routine it may only be
possible to include children on non-working days, but if time and energy allows
this could be extended to working days too. Nevertheless, if both parents and
children perceive doing such activities together as being positive, this could have
some positives outcomes.
•
Total family time would be increased as mentioned above.
•
Parents’ bad conscience for not spending enough time with their children
could decrease.
•
Children would develop some practical skills that would be useful in their
lives.
•
Children would develop social skills that are useful for interaction with
other people.
This idea of including children in more basic tasks – or just having them around –
instead of “relieving them from boring tasks” has its inspiration in what is the
praxis in less industrialised societies. The reason for this practice in the less
industrialised countries is in part that the families do not have other options but
also in part that this is the way children develop skills and learn adult tasks.
Skills that can be obtained by observing and executing basic tasks in Denmark can
be also useful for children to learn here since most people in this country have to
do housework tasks - either partially or in full.
Page 76
This does not mean that parents should abandon being play partners for their
children or doing other “non-productive” activities. The idea is simply to broaden
the range of possibilities that parents have for being together with their children.
Also parents should realise that the mentioned activities do support children’s
development, just as it does in other societies. Finally, it gives parents the options
to spend more time interacting with their children, which is valuable when time in
the modern family is scarce.
In current time, families with children are exposed to a number of challenges.
Allocation of the scarce time available for families with children is an actual
problem. Therefore it is important for parents to consciously evaluate their
prioritisation in order to have the best possible life with children.
Page 77
12 CONCLUSION
The main subject of this thesis is to investigate what ideals Danish parents have
for life with children and how this time is used in praxis. My view of this subject
is a cross-cultural angle based on the works of Valsiner (2000) and Hundeide
(2004) introduced in the chapter 6. With basis on their cultural perspective it is
possible to see differences in beliefs and praxis across cultures thereby
understanding some of the reasons that create and sustain such differences.
This thesis provides a short historical overview of the development of the family
in Europe and in Denmark (chapter 8). The focus is on nuclear families and the
main characteristics of a current nuclear family are highlighted. The chapter
concludes that even though the family is more privileged than ever, family life has
become more complex and challenging. Requirements have increased to many of
life’s spheres – relationship, parenthood, equality of gender, work, leisure,
material welfare – which create a pressure on the family’s resources. This needs to
be recognised and parents need to be aware of their own limitations so that they
do not project pressure on to their children. Research shows that when children
perceive their parents not being able to handle harmonically the activities which
parents have in their daily lives, it affects children’s view on daily life negatively.
In order to understand how norms and ideals are formed and transformed both on
the societal and the individual level, some theoretical concepts have been
introduced. This is the subject of chapter 9. The theories suggest that we are
influenced through a number of mechanisms such as moralistic advice, expert &
expertise, appropriation, constrains and participation in cultural communities,
which are considered in the analysis of empirical studies in the following chapter.
Chapter 10 presents a number of empirical studies that were used in this thesis to
provide empirical data for further analysis. The chapter explores the three subquestions of the thesis separately
Page 78
•
How are ideals formed? (chapter 10.2.1 Sources of influence on parental
beliefs)
•
What are the ideals Danish parents have for life with children? (chapter
10.2.2 Ideals for life with children)
•
How is life with children in praxis? (chapter 10.2.3 Praxis in life with
children)
The findings for each item above are presented and provide the basis for the final
discussion.
The final discussion in chapter 11 extracts a number of observations and
conclusions from the many empirical studies referenced. The concrete ideals for
life with children in Denmark are for the most part related to time. Parents
perceive the time they have with their children as scarce. For the individual family
the option of changing the conditions in the society for families with small
children may be too long a perspective to be of any practical use. They may have
passed the stage of having small children when any changes become reality. This
does not diminish the importance of fighting for improvements in our society.
This only means that parents should not wait for these changes in order to have
their family life conditions improved. They should actively try to do what is in
their reach to improve their situation at this time.
It is important to find the best possible solutions and realise that there are certain
limitations that do not meet their ideals. Finding the best possible options imply in
making choices and accept the limitations that exist when priority is given to
some aspects of life over for others.
Since family time is scarce for the modern family there are possible improvements
to be found with inspiration from family life in non-industrialised societies. By
including children in some of the family’s basic tasks total family time would
increase, children would develop valuable skills and praxis in family life would be
closer to the ideals of Danish parents.
Page 79
13 FINAL REMARKS
The subject I chose for this thesis turned out to be more challenging than I had
expected at first. There was limited literature available on the subject and I
realised that the subject of study concerned directly or indirectly many different
areas. Political, social, economic and cultural aspects are among them.
The fact that the subject of study came out being interdisciplinary gave me
inspiration for how to work with this topic in praxis.
A practical project aiming at developing, applying and evaluating the results of a
study, which aimed at providing simple solutions to minimise the discrepancy
between what Danish parents consider ideal for their lives with children and what
they are able to practice in the present time. This project would aim at providing
support for parents with small children and improve the daily lives in these
families. The idea is based on the concept of Experts & Expertise (Valsiner, 2000)
and the results of research by Okagaki and Luster (1993) which shows that
parental beliefs and praxis change when parents are exposed to new information.
•
An option for a project could be to develop meeting groups for parents
who experience lack of time with their children as well as the lack of
possibilities to change their actual situation. These parents would have the
opportunity to experience an open channel to exchange their experiences
with other parents in similar situation. This could happen under the
supervision of a trained professional. This concept already exists regarding
families who experience for example problems with alcohol, violence and
some specific diseases or conditions. It can be experienced as a rich,
learning and beneficial process.
•
Another option could be having professionals visiting the individual
families. This concept also exists in Denmark. Parents can for example ask
for a visit from a social nurse when they experience doubt and difficulties
in issues regarding the care of their babies and small children. It is also
Page 80
possible for parents to ask for a pedagogical consultant who helps families,
which experience problems with their children to design procedures to
obtain a more balanced life.
Both having professionals visiting individual families and developing a “group of
parents” would aim at bringing more information to parents and discuss the
possibilities to improve the conditions of families with small children. Topics
such as child upbringing, work and family life would have a place during these
meetings. Parents who experience problems prioritising the diverse areas of their
lives in the different phases of life could also receive support from professionals
to assist with this task.
This thesis could also inspire politicians, employers and employees (that are
parents to small children) to engage in a discussion aiming at finding solutions
regarding permanent changes in our society. Solution to issues such as more
flexible work market (if this is really the problem) that could satisfied the needs of
all parties.
Page 81
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Page 85
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Danish parents` ideals and praxis for life with children

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