English Information Package for Parents who have lost their Baby
Transcrição
English Information Package for Parents who have lost their Baby
English Information Package for Parents who have lost their Baby due to a Curettage Spontaneous Abortion / Miscarriage Abortion Stillbirth or Early Infant Death THIS FOLDER IS A MASTER COPY, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT HOME! I will live as long as your heart is beating. I will live as long as there is a place for me in your heart. I will live as long as you continue your journey. I will live as long as there is joy in your life Whenever you seek me, come search inside your heart. If you find me there, I will live on forever. Loosely translated version of a poem by Milead Shalin Definition of the basic Terms Maternity Rights Right to a Name What can help you in this Situation? Burial Rights & Burial Options Arranging the Funeral Your child is a full-fledged human being with his/her own personality, and you may have already chosen a name for him/her. The personal at the hospital will still refer to your baby with the corresponding medical term, but this does not in any way imply that they are degrading your child. Definition of the Basic Terms Spontaneous Abortion / Miscarriage: an early termination of pregnancy before 24 weeks of gestation, when the fruit of the womb weighs less than 500 grams. The embryo/foetus has or has not yet departed from the uterus. Abortion: the removal of, or causing the departure of the embryo or foetus from the uterus. It serves to terminate an unwanted pregnancy or a pregnancy that endangers the mother´s life. Curettage: an operative removal of the amniotic sac, the embryo and the uterine lining. Live birth: We speak of a live birth if (no matter how far along during the pregnancy) the child has entirely exited the mother´s body and …either initiates breathing …or displays other signs of life such as heartbeat, an obvious movement of muscles or pulsation of the umbilical cord. Whether the umbilical cord has been cut or the placenta has been expelled is irrelevant. Stillbirth: We speak of a stillbirth if there are no signs of life and the child´s weight at birth is at least 500 grams. Early Infant Death: see “live birth” Maternity Leave How long I am allowed to stay at home? The process of grieving over a child takes lot of time and strength. It may be of help if the father of the child takes nursing leave of absence from work so that you can spend time together and help each other cope. For that purpose, your family doctor will need to sign a nursing leave of absence for the father. Spontaneous Abortion: see miscarriage Abortion: You are not entitled to maternity leave and have to take a sick leave of absence instead. You should have your doctor issue a medical certificate immediately. Miscarriage: You are not entitled to maternity leave and have to take sick leave of absence instead. You should have your doctor issue a medical certificate immediately. If you have to take a sick leave for a longer period of time, you could present yourself to a professional (f.i. psychologist and psychotherapist Mag. Widensky) who can sign a certificate of disability. Unfortunately, past experiences have proven that after losing a child women are frequently made redundant. This is why you should weigh up the advantages and disadvantages and decide what is best for you. Curettage: see Miscarriage Live birth: A doctor has to confirm a premature birth (weight below 2500 grams) in order for the mother to be entitled to 12 weeks of maternity leave. The duration of 12 weeks is not affected by a child´s early infant death or the birth of a child that is nonviable. Stillbirth: With a stillbirth notification you are entitled to 8 weeks of maternity leave, no matter how many days of maternity leave you have taken before the birth. Only if you have had a caesarean section or a multiple birth you are entitled to 12 weeks. Early infant death: see live birth The right of your child to his/her own name Once again it depends on how your child has been born: In the case of a live birth, your child officially receives a first name that will also be registered in his/her birth certificate. In the case of a stillbirth, you can have the public authorities enter your child´s first name into the death register. If he or she was buried at the municipality´s expenses, this name will be written on the plaque on his/her grave. In the case of a miscarriage, your child cannot officially receive a first name. Nevertheless, it is still a great relieve for the family if you do choose a name for the baby and use it in conversation. If you decide to bury your child, it is completely up to you what you choose to write onto the gravestone or the plaque. An Initiative of the support-group Regenbogen – for parents who lost their baby after abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth or death shortly after birth. Petition “Entry in the register of births for babies weighing less than 500 g” We are fighting to ensure that our children are also recognised as human beings. The petition would, for the first time, give parents of “star children”, who were born weighing less than 500g, the opportunity to permanently document the birth at the registry office and thus give them an official existence. Up to now, such certification has not been possible! This would also subsequently affect the Funeral Act and the babies could then be buried individually. The petition was submitted in October 2012 and it is currently at third instance, i.e. we now require 5000 signatures to submit it to the Austrian National Council. We have already been able to collect 1500 signatures from across Austria. It has been possible to certify the babies in Germany since 31.03.2013. If you would like to support us, the signature lists can be requested from [email protected] or downloaded at www.shg-regenbogen.at/downloads. Please send the completed lists to Postfach 4 1006 Vienna. Thank you for your support Books that may help you in your situation: “Gute Hoffnung, jähes Ende” (High Hope, Abrupt End) (ISBN 9783466343898) Very comprehensive and recommendable book! An accompanying book for parents who lose their baby and all those who wish to support them. This book sensitively accompanies parents on their way through the mourning process. Through the personal statements of others, affected persons learn that they are not alone in their feelings and reactions, but also that the time of untold pain and inconsolability can be overcome. Hannah Lothrop not only deals with losses suffered as a result of the death of a baby during pregnancy, birth and early childhood, but she also addresses the particular situation of single mourning mothers or parents who are told that their child will die. She guides affected persons through the mourning process and offers specific assistance in each stage to heal the body, mind and soul (body and breathing exercises, meditation, visualisation, guidance on dealing with feelings, creative methods such as painting, writing and much more). She helps us find our own answers by means of targeted questions. Thus, the experiences acquired can be lived through in terms of our own values, which is the foundation so that mourners do not break down over these experiences, but rather find new hope and new courage for life. Furthermore, this unique book shows all those who support the mourning parents (relatives, friends, professionals) how they can deal with their own helplessness in view of the death and how to support the affected persons. "Wenn die Wiege leer bleibt" (When the cradle remains empty) (ISBN 978-3431033441) Another very popular book! If a child is stillborn, or if a child dies immediately after childbirth, a world falls apart. The parent have prepared for a new life – not for death. The book describes authentic case studies and the emotions with which affected persons struggle; furthermore, the book creates understanding of a still largely taboo subject, which still affects many people. In addition, the authors encourage the readers to not forcibly suppress the mourning for a lost baby, but to show it openly and give it attention in rituals to prevent mental and physical illnesses and to find a new start. An indispensable book for all those who are involved with affected parents, and of course for the mourners themselves. Mourning parents will not only be comforted to know that they are not alone in going through their emotions, but the practical guidelines and the numerous references to useful organisations and self-help groups at the end of the book will also be a great help. “Warum nur, Gott?- Glaube und Zweifel nach dem Tod eines Kindes” (Why, oh why God?- Belief and disbelief after the death of a child) The death of a child is a life-changing experience for the bereaved parents and siblings. All previous attitudes and beliefs are shaken and the affected persons cannot escape from the unanswerable question of why and the question of the compatibility of God's goodness and omnipotence. However, even if there are no answers, the search for explanations and acting on the insolvability of the questions are meaningful and enriching. They are a part of working through the mourning process and can help to develop a new relationship to oneself and to the world. Together with Bärbel Friedrich and Elisabeth Korgiel, Jan Salzmann uses this book to bring together the experiences of mourners with in-kind contributions on theodicy from different eras and beliefs. Please order via the following site: http://www.verwaiste-eltern.de/shop.html “Mein Sternenkind” (My Star Child) by Heike Wolker (ISBN 978-3902647-48-1) After the loss of a child, it takes time to return to a life in which one feels comfortable and reconciled with the unfathomable stroke of fate. Many things are required to proceed along the path of mourning and reorientation: for example, the knowledge that one is not alone and that there are opportunities (for oneself) to do good. A central element is the experiences of other people, who have lived through, suffered through and integrated a similar experience in their lives, because they can help with finding equilibrium again. Thus, besides the author, parents who have lost one or more children also express themselves in this accompanying book. The focus is on their very personal experiences of loss, the process of mourning and healing, which does not mean forgetting, but rather gratefully remembering the much too short time together with the star child. “Fehlgeburt-und dann…” (Miscarriage - and then...) by Anja Rief (ISBN: 978-3848263653) “Jetzt bist du schon gegangen Kind” (Now, you have already gone child) by Gerda Palm (ISBN: 3-7698-1292-1) “Du hast kaum gelebt” (You barely lived) (ISBN 9783783127171) “Bin kaum da, muss schon fort” (Barely here, have to go already) (ISBN 978-3865061003) “Zum Sterben geboren” (Born to die) 29 SSW (ISBN 978-3866340176) “Christophers Tod, während der Geburt gestorben2 (Christopher’s death, died during birth) (ISBN 978-3404612703) “So zart und doch so stark. Mein Kind, das zu früh starb” (So delicate yet so strong. My child who died too early) Anabel comes into the world weighing 540 grams - Experience report of an affected mother (ISBN 9783451057762) “Schmetterlingsflüstern - Botschaften einer Kinderseele” (Butterfly whispers - messages of a child’s soul) (ISBN 978-3466344888) “Ein Stern, der nicht leuchten konnte” (A star that could not shine) (ISBN 978-3451055102) “Beim Sterben von Kindern” (When children die) Experiences, thoughts and texts concerning the mystery surrounding premature death (Author: Boogert Arie) “Unendlich ist der Schmerz” (The pain is endless) Images of sculptures with text (Fritsch Julie/Sherokee Ilse) "Kinder und Tod” (Children and death) (Author: Kühler-Ross Elisabeth) “Nur ein Hauch von Leben” (Just a breath of life) Parents give accounts of the death of their baby Authors: Küner-Riebel/Barbara and Lutz, Gottfried) “Trauern hat seine Zeit” (Mourning has its time) (Author: Nijs Michaela) Books for siblings: “Der geborgte Stern” (The borrowed star) Children's picture book as a mourning and comfort book for young and old (available from Initiative Österreich) “Um Kinder trauern” (Mourn for children) Parents and siblings encounter death “Himmelskinder” (Children of heaven), children's picture book (ISBN: 978-3417260984) Mourning rituals/mourning services: “Trauerfeiern beim Tod von Kindern” (Mourning ceremonies for the death of children), by Klaus Schäfer (ISBN: 978-3791722993) “Wenn Eltern um ihr Baby trauern” (When parents mourn for their baby) lmpulses for the chaplaincy model for services (ISBN 9783451282102) “Jetzt bist du schon gegangen” (Now you have gone already) Mourning support and healing rituals with parents of prematurely deceased children (Don Bosco-Publications) For hospital and nursing staff: “Fehl-und Todgeburt, ein Weg aus dem Tabu” (Miscarriage and stillbirth, away from the taboo) Non-fiction book for nursing staff (Author: Grützner Christine) Subject “Subsequent pregnancy”: “Meine Folgeschwangerschaft” (My subsequent pregnancy) by Heike Wolter (ISBN: 978-3-902647-368) We have described some of the books in more detail on our homepage: www.shg-regenbogen.at “Regenbogen” association brochures: Available in German only! Experience reports 1, 2, 3 Experience reports “Only a miscarriage” Experience reports “Subsequent pregnancies” “Incisions”, poems, texts, images “A very important image” A gentle guide to the photography of deceased babies Name cards Commemorative bows (white, with blue, pink or blue/pink baby feet) Please contact the following address to order brochures: Email: [email protected] Self-help groups Lower Austria St. Pölten “Windrad” (wind wheel) self-help group Meeting: monthly Venue: Youth room of the Parish of St. Johannes, Josefstrasse 90, 3100 St. Pölten Contact: Petra König Tel: 0664/ 5426111 Email: [email protected] Homepage: http://selbsthilfegruppewindrad.npage.de Language: German Guided groups “Living with the death of a child” and “reorientation” (St. Pölten) Meeting: Once a month on a Thursday (by arrangement) Venue: “Advice and Assistance”, Heitzlergasse 2, 3100 St. Pölten Contact: “Advice and Assistance (Mrs Ronge)” Tel. 02742/353510 (Mon-Fri 8.00-12.00, plus Mon 13.00-16.00) “Living with the death of a child” self-help group Lower Austrian central region Meeting: Please enquire about next meeting date by telephone Venue: In the Advisory Centre Advice & Assistance, Schulgasse 10, 3100 St. Pölten Contact: Elisabeth and Anton Reneis Telephone: 02275/ 61 69 Mobile: 0676/41 30 382 Email: [email protected] Language: German Mistelbach Regenbogen (Rainbow) self-help group Meeting: Please register by telephone Venue: Caritas Regional Office, Kirchengasse 6a, 2130 Mistelbach Contact: Gabriela Brunner Tel.: 0664/73 800 349 Email: [email protected] Language: German Tulln Windrad Tulln (wind wheel) - SHG for parents whose baby has died during or after birth Meeting: On the second Monday of every month from 19.00 hrs. (In case of public holiday, one week later) Venue: In the seminar room of the Austrian Red Cross Lower Austria, Franz Zant Allee 3-5, 3430 Tulln - Please register by telephone. Contact: Sabina Pay Telephone: 059 144 50591 (Red Cross) Mobile: 0676/5634030 Email: [email protected] Homepage: www.roteskreuz.at/noe Language: German Hollabrunn “Bereaved parents” self-help group Meeting: By arrangement Venue: Castelligasse 28, 2020 Hollabrunn Contact: Claudia Öller Tel.: +43/2952/20245 Email: [email protected] Language: German Salzburg “Parents mourn their child” self-help group Meeting: By arrangement Venue: 5020 Salzburg Contact: Claudia Gstöttner Tel.: +43/662/451948 Email: [email protected] Language: German “Roof of hope” SHG (Laa/Thaya) Meeting: By arrangement Venue: Parsonage Laa/Taya Contact: Michaela Sedivy Tel.: 0664 73715910 “Parents mourn” self-help group Meeting: By arrangement Venue: Parish office Bischofshofen, Franz-Mohshammer-Platz 2, 5500 Bischofshofen, Telephone: 06462 I 23 94 Contact: Anton Fink Tel.: 06462 / 23 94 Email: a.fink(at)sbg.at Language: German “Parents mourn their child” self-help group Meeting: On the first Wednesday of every month at 20:00 hrs. Venue: Education Centre St. Virgil, Ernst-Grein-Str. 14, 5026 Salzburg-Aigen, registration is not required (open group). Contact: Hannelore and Elisabeth Koch Tel.: Tel. 0664 I 7824462 or Tel. 0680 I 2195007 Email: hanne.koch(at)gmx.at or elisabeth.koch1(at)gmx.net Language: German “Life without my child” self-help group Meeting: By arrangement Venue: Disclosed on request Contact: Andrea Ferstl/Barbara Hutter Tel.: 0664 / 7639966 or 0664 / 9224302 Email: [email protected] Language: German “Initiative to support mourning parents” of the University Hospital Chaplaincy holds a commemoration ceremony for the deceased babies three times a year, NOT A self-help group! Contact: Mag. Elisabeth Sallinger-Leidenfrost Tel.: 0662/4482-58531 Email: [email protected] Styria “Star children - living without you” self-help group Meeting: Monthly Venue: Parent-child centre Graz, Bergmanngasse 10, 8020 Graz Contact: Christina Kandler Tel.: +43/664/4371590 Email: [email protected] or [email protected] Homepage: www.leben-ohne-dich.com Language: German Support group for bereaved parents/Bruck,Kapfenberg Meeting: Not specified Contact: Sabine Moises / Sonja Karr Tel.: 03862 / 22 413 or 0664 / 23 00 507 Email: [email protected] Homepage: www.rettet-das-kind-stmk.at Language: German Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Association “Bereaved parents - Living with the death of a child” Meeting: Not specified Venue: Graz Contact: Hanna Caspaar Tel.: 0664 / 53 36 044 Email: [email protected] Homepage: www.verwaisteeltern.at Language: German Self-help group telephone hotline “High Hope - Abrupt End” (Voitsberg) Meeting: By arrangement Venue: Parent-child centre Voitsberg District, Josef-Radkohl-Str. 16, 8570 Voitsberg Contact: Mag. Andrea Zügner-Lenz Tel.: 0664 51 49 298 Email: [email protected] Language: German “Fortuneless pregnancy” self-help group (Mürzzuschlag) Meeting: Monthly Venue: Mürzzuschlag Contact: Mrs Theresia Bruckgraber/ Mrs Katharina Reisenauer Tel.: 0650/403 50 17 or Tel.: 0650/436 46 40 Homepage: www.muerzerhebammen.at Language: German Burgenland Herzschmerz ADE – Association for mourning support for bereaved parents Meeting: not specified Venue: Hans Tinhof Straße 7/11,7000 Eisenstadt Contact: Petra Parsons Tel.: 0699/17111876 Email: office(at)herzschmerzade.at Homepage: www.herzschmerzade.at Language: German Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Upper Austria SARA- SHG for mourning parents Meeting: On the third Wednesday of every month by appointment, No meeting: July, August Venue: Gmunden Contact: Gabriela Rossini Tel.: 0650 3664 202 Email: [email protected] Language: German High Hope - Abrupt End – Support group for men and women Meeting: Please register Venue: Linz Contact: Michaela Kaiser Email: [email protected] Homepage: http://www.zoe.at/index_html?sc=227948862 Language: German “Meeting point Hope” self-help group, for bereaved parents Meeting: Monthly Venue: “Bühnenstüberl” der r. k. Pfarre in 4210 Gallneukirchen Contact: Dipl. Päd. Petra Ratschenherger Tel.: 0699/10 24 38 37 Email: [email protected] Language: German Self-help group for mourning parents and siblings Meeting: Monthly Venue: Haus der Frau, Volsgartenstrasse 18, 4020 Linz Contact: Josefine Mülleder Tel.: 07215/35 02 Email: [email protected] Homepage: www.trauernde-eltern.at Language: German Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft “A breath of life” SHG, miscarriage & stillbirth (Wels) Meeting: On the first Monday of every month from 19:30 hrs. Venue: Women’s health centre (PGA), Kaiser Josef-Platz 52,4600 Wels Contact: Simone Strobl Email: [email protected] Language: German Carinthia “Sudden infant death syndrome” self-help group Meeting: Not specified Venue: Velden Contact: Elfi Köstenberger Tel.: 0699/115 20 176 Email: [email protected] Homepage: http://www.selbsthilfe-kaernten.at Language: German “Suddenly without child” self-help group Meeting: Not specified Venue: Not specified Contact:, Sonja Walder Tel: 0650/73 11 511 Email: [email protected] Homepage: http://www.selbsthilfe-kaemten.at Language: German “Bereaved mothers and fathers” self-help group Meeting: Monthly Venue: Stauderplatz 5/3/308 Contact/Tel.: (0463) 50 48 71 “Fortuneless pregnancy” self-help group Meeting: By arrangement Venue: Spittal/Drau Contact: Brigitte Winkler Tel.: 0699/114 04 070 Email: [email protected] Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft “Fortuneless pregnancy” self-help group Meeting: By arrangement Venue: By arrangement Contact: Birgit Freibergen Tel.: 0650/60 50 20 Language: German SHG by Christina Wurmitzer (Life and social counsellor) Meeting: Every third Thursday in 1 month Venue: Hadanig 5 9212 Techelsberg a. Wörthersee Contact: Christina Wurmitzer Tel.: 0660/4651314 Email: [email protected] Language: German Tyrol “Star children” self-help group Lienz Meeting: Every 2 months at 19:00 hrs. Venue: Parent-child centre Lienz Contact: Monika Pucher-Schweiger, Our group is guided by Mr Rudi Rumpl (grief counsellor). Tel.: 0676/3254540. Email: [email protected] Language: German “Mourning for bereaved parents” self-help group Meeting: Monthly Venue: Parent-child centre Rechter Iselweg 5, 9900 Lienz Contact: Antonia Schwarz Tel.: 0676/ 436 5717 or 04852 606 290 Language: German Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Vorarlberg Until now, there have been no self-help groups relating to our topic in Vorarlberg. According to latest research, a self-help group is now being created. Please enquire on www.selbsthilfe-vorarlberg.at or www.shg-regenbogen.at. Vienna “Regenbogen” self-help group Meeting: On the first Wednesday of every month (if this day falls on a public holiday, then the meeting will take place one week later, meetings in July and August by arrangement from 19:30 hrs. Venue: Nanaya Centre, Zollergasse 37, 1070 Vienna Contact: Petra Hainz/ Claudia Weinert Tel.: +43/676/6428692 Email: [email protected] Homepage: www.shg-regenbogen.at Languages: German, English Conversation group “Bereaved parents” Meeting: Evenings by arrangement Venue: Breitenseerstraße 19/27, 1140 Vienna Contact: Sabine Reisinger, Tel. 0664/4851929 Email: [email protected] Homepage: www.viennanet.at/VerwaisteEltem Language: German Other groups in smaller towns and communities can be found at www.best-help.or.at or www.selbsthilfe.at. Links and forums relating to the subject www.shg-regenbogen.at www.sternenkinder.info www.parents.at/forum www.verein-pusteblume.at Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Further Training Opportunities for Professionals Seminar for doctors, midwives, (paediatric) nurses, spiritual advisors, psychologists, social workers, and office and visiting service employees: „Wenn Schwangerschaften glücklos enden“ (When pregnancies end in grief) Seminar leader: Mag. Elisabeth Widensky Cell phone: 0650 37 105 37 („Please leave a message, I will get back to you“) 4 Points of Emphasis: Introduction, informative handout for parents whose baby has died: legal regulations (e.g.: burial rights, right to a name) The grieving process, the special characteristics of the hospital setting Practical experience, questions relating to specific institutions, practical advice on handling cases Case supervisions for individuals or couples Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Burial Law and Burial Options Generally, any baby no matter his/her weight or his/her week of gestation can be buried at the parents´ own expenses. The decision to bury the child should at best be made within the first 24 hours, but if you can come to an arrangement with the local pathologist, he/she can keep your baby for up to a week, granting you more time to make your decision. Spontaneous Abortion: see Miscarriage Abortion: look at the information in the curettage section Miscarriage: By signing the histology form you decide if you wish to have a separate funeral for your child. For a separate funeral you will need a „Leichenbegleitschein“ (a corpse movement authorization) issued by the coroner. This form will have to be handed over to Bestattung Wien, Vienna´s funeral service. If you do not decide to have an individual funeral, your child will join other children who have died in a collective coffin and will be cremated in the crematory in Simmering. The urn will be buried in a collective grave on the “Zentralfriedhof”, on “Grabfeld (burial ground) 35 B”, a place of commemoration for the relatives. Family and friends can be present at the burial and get involved in the funeral arrangements (see „Arranging the Funeral“). The burial of the urn takes place every first Friday of the months March, June, September and December at 08:30 a.m. (meeting place: hall 3 [“Halle 3”] at 08:00 a.m.). All expenses are covered by the city of Vienna. To find out on which date the funerals take place, feel free to call 760 41/97803. If you want to know if your child is going to be buried in the upcoming collective funeral (the transfer is usually carried out up until two days before the funeral), do not hesitate to contact the cemetary´s administration or the crematory of the “Zentralfriedhof”. They have a list of names of the affected mothers (Tel: 760 41/871 or 872). In the case of a miscarriage, an autopsy is carried out, but there is no certification or registration of the child at the civil registry office (“Standesamt”). Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Curettage: Babies who have not been born and have left the womb through a curettage are not buried. They are kept in the respective pathology unit for 30 years. There have been cases, however, in which very empathetic pathologists have agreed to release the child for the collective funeral (in this case see Miscarriage). Stillbirth: In the case of a stillbirth you can choose to have a separate funeral for your child with a signature on the autopsy form („Obduktionsschein“). (Average cost for an individual funeral: ~ € 1.600 ). If you do not wish to have a separate, individual funeral for your child, he or she will be buried on the “Zentralfriedhof” on burial ground („Grabfeld“) 35B. In case you do not report the child´s first name to the civil registry office, the plaque on the grave will be engraved with either “Mädchen” (girl) or “Knabe” (boy) and the baby´s last name. If you would like to attend the funeral, please contact „Bestattung Wien” (Tel: 501 95-0, in service 24 hours a day). This is where you will be informed about the date of the funeral. You may also deposit clothes and toys for your child at the pathology unit so that they can be placed inside the casket as well. A further possibility is to cremate your child and take the urn home with you. This option, however, is only possible with a special authorization by the Magistrate Division 40 (“MA 40”). In the case of a stillbirth, both an autopsy and a subsequent certification and registration of the child at the civil registry office are required. For your child´s certification at the registry office you need to bring a photo identification and the child´s death notice from the hospital. Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Early infant death: When it comes to early infant death or death shortly after birth, the parents themselves are responsible for the organization of the funeral. Still, the possibility exists that the organization of the burial be handed over to the city of Vienna. In that case, the baby is buried in an individual grave on the “Zentralfriedhof” on burial ground 35B, and the grave will be reserved for this child for a period of 10 years. This is the time span of the so-called “Ruherecht” (“right of rest”) that applies to the grave according to law. Up to this point there is no possibility of extending the 10-year-period, but the cemetery´s administration is eagerly seeking solutions. The death certificate („Todesbescheinigung“) from the pathology unit and the live birth notice (“Anzeige der Lebendgeburt“) will be sent directly from the hospital to the corresponding civil registry office (to find out which civil registry office is responsible for you, call: 501 95-0; number is in service 24 hours a day). You can pick up the certificate of death at the authorities („Sterbeurkunde“) by presenting your personal ID. The costs are about € 10. On demand the certificate of death can also contain the name of your child. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us at any time: Petra Hainz Tel: 0676 64 28 692 Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Funeral Parlours Specialised on Burials of Babies and Children Every funeral parlour in Vienna offers the following types of burial: In-ground burial Urn to take home ( with official permission by the Ma 40) Forest cemetary (starting from 3000 €) Diamond burial (cremation diamonds) (starting at 5000€) Cremation/Urn burial ( starting at about 1000€) Sky burial ( starting at about 4000€) We have contacted several funeral parlours and have researched their offers. The following funeral parlours have specialised on burials of babies and children: Special Offers: Diamond made from the parents´ hair and the child´s ashes Memorial crystal with the child´s ashes Painting of the coffin Special Offers: Coffins in the shape of (tear) drops or baby feet Painting of urns and coffins Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Special Offers: Painting of urns and coffins Possibility of releasing doves/balloons during the ceremony Examples for Coffins: Examples for Urns: Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Song proposals for the funeral service Classic: Pachelbel-Kanon "Comptire d'un autre été, l'après-midi"/Klavierstück aus den Film “Die fabelhafte Welt der Amelie`“ Kirchenlied "Von guten Mächten wunderbar geborgen" Kirchenlied "Der Himmel geht über allen auf". Typical: "Tears in Heaven"/Eric Clapton "Somewhere over the Rainbow"/Judy Garland Current in the hit parade: “Und wenn ein Lied “/ Söhne Mannheims „Into the west“/ Annie Lennox "Angel"/Sarah McLaughlin "Amoi seg ma uns wieder"/ Andreas Gabalier „Geboren um zu Leben“/ Unheilig "Somewhere over the Rainbow"/ Israel Kamakawiwoʻole Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Map “Zentralfriedhof” Vienna: Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Location of the “Babygrabfeld” / Burial Ground 35B: Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Ground Plan of the “Babygrabfeld“ /Burial ground 35B: Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft New funeral options for bereaved parents of Muslim background Starting from October 2012, there are two options of burying a child at the Islamic cemetery in the Grossmarktstrasse 2a,1230 Wien: Collective Grave: The Collective Grave is intended for babies with a birth weight of under 500g. Furthermore it is intended for Muslim families who find it hard to bear the costs of an individual funeral (900-1100 Euro). The latter should be confirmed in written form by a friend or a relative of the bereaved family. In this case, only the costs of 28 Euros per year for the maintenance of the grave would have to be covered. The collective grave is property of the Islamic cemetery and the name of the child is only documented in the cemetery´s registry. Individual Grave: Babies, no matter their birth weight, can also be buried in an individual grave. The child is buried in a coffin of 110cm of length. The contract for the grave can be extended every ten years. The parents have to cover the costs for the funeral (900-1100 Euros) and for the maintenance of the grave (28 Euro per year). The individual grave is property of the Islamic cemetery and the name of the child is engraved on the gravestone. Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft Arranging the Funeral If you prepare your baby´s funeral yourselves, or if you have chosen a separate, individual grave for your child, you are free to organize the ceremony according to your liking. However, if your baby is going to be buried in a collective funeral, it will be rather difficult to make arrangements, especially if you do not know the other deceased children´s parents. For reasons of data protection and privacy concerns, the administration of the cemetery is not authorized to offer you any names or other information on the other mothers and fathers. Try to contact a support group (see „List of support groups“) and inquire about other grieving mothers and fathers who will be present at the same funeral. The date of the burial can be found out by contacting the administration of vienna central cemetery (01/76041-43802, 01/76041-43803). Questions that could be helpful during the funeral arrangements: Because of the different religious denominations of the concerned parents it is not allowed to have a religious discharge. If you like a spiritual guidance during the ceremony, you have to contact a priest or pastor for your own. During the urn laying out the vienna funeral service will play even mourning music. You will have the possibility to read a convient text, poem or letter to your baby. You can place a burial object inside the grave. You can use any object that is biodegradable, for instance a soft toy, flowers, a letter. A closing ritual: Light a candle for every deceased baby at the grave; release helium balloons; cite a farewell poem, etc. Verein Regenbogen-Hilfestellung bei glückloser Schwangerschaft An important note on releasing helium balloons: The “Zentralfriedhof“ is located within the safety zone of the Vienna Schwechat Airport! Therefore the following regulations apply: Contact and inform the “Flugplatzkontrollstelle Wien Schwechat” (Air traffic control) about the balloons at least one hour before they are going to be released (Tel.: 051703 32 222) The balloons must not be tied together No metal objects must be tied to the balloons and the balloons must be free of radar reflective lettering and writings For some time now 1-2 volunteers of our association have been attending the collective funerals and have been offering balloons to be released. These volunteers also contact the air traffic control – you can approach them at any time.